McKoala Days

Free stories!

2012-01-31T00:27:00.000-08:00

Koala challenge reporting post below!

If you're all written out, then it must be time for a reading break. How about some freebies?

This Tuesday, January 31, you can download the Extinct Anthology from Amazon's Kindle store, for free! Here's the blurb for this most excellent anthology: "Echoes of yesterday touch the lives of ordinary people in extraordinary ways in 18 provocative stories by some of the best up-and-coming authors of mainstream and speculative fiction around the world."

Or pick an individual story from Extinct - free, on Tuesday and Wednesday. You'd like to read mine? Why, thank you for asking. You'll find Blood Fruit right here. It's a bloodthirsty little sci-fi number about Levo, one of the last survivors of a pampered world that loses the technology it depends on.

You can check out some more of the writers and their stories at their blogs - if you go to Phoenix's you will see a montage of all the covers - they look fantastic all together.

Phoenix Sullivan: Extinct Doesn't Mean Forever
Chrystalla Thoma: "The Angel Genome"
Peter Dudley: "Distractions"
Kenneth Burstall: "Connect"
Scott Thomas Smith: "In Ring"

Are we ready? Reporting in for January!

2012-01-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

The Koala is smugly preening her fur after a fab January. 15,000 words and three, count 'em, three short story submissions. One of which got tossed out immediately, because it would have been a reprint and the publication had changed its policy on that. Whoops. But I tried. And I start the year on nine pristine points at the top of the eucalypt.

Read the full story of Koala pointage here, and report in below! (And the 2011 awards post is below this one if anybody missed it.)

The 2011 Koala Awards

2012-01-22T02:09:00.000-08:00

Ah, I do love this. I look back over the year and check out all the scores and the excuses... Here we go for 2011...there are some new awards this year, just for fun...

MostSympathetic Bystander aka Loudest Gloating for Having the Sense to Not ActuallyGet Involved: Fairyhedgehog

Personwho Talked the Most about Reporting In, but Never Did: Travis

Awardfor the Best Manners: not sure if I'm awarding thisone this year. I think everybody sassed me at some point. Although Angie,Sempra, Stevie, PD, Stacy and Jenna were pretty nice to me mostly. Tell youwhat, split this one six ways. The rest of you Must Try Harder.

The'I Know It's Nothing to be Proud of but I got There First' Smackdown Award: Writtenwyrdd

MostHumiliating Smackdown: Me. Again. I'm anembarrassment to myself.

Awardfor Best Excuse for Not Accruing Pointage: Iasa"I spent two weeks in a cave" (that's the best I got this year. No,it's not up there with "I got married" or "I got flooded" –come on you lot, Must Try Harder)

WorstExcuse: Whirl for: "A chimpanzee ate myhomework"

WorstPoetry Award: (yes, last year this was a BestPoetry Award) Whirl for

Howhe cruised
in the slipstream
of a koala's laxness
Now his corpse lies strewn
upon the floor,
bollocksless.

Awardfor the Most Points in a Single Month: Angie (30 - sheadmits it was the goad of Nano that got her there, but who cares. Impressive!)

MostGraphic Description of a Koala Attack: Merry (Iwon't put you through it again, but she mentioned intestines and surgery)

HighFive Award (for most achieving a high score aftermonths' of dedication to low scoring): this year it's the High Fifteen Awardand it goes to…. Iasa

Inand Out Award for Most Inconsistent Reporting:well, this is humiliating, one year she won the top award, the next she camethird overall, but this year… due to international moves and other such shabbyexcuses the winner of this one is… Robin!

Andnow for the big one…McKoala's Most Consistent Writer and Submitter for 2011

This was really hard fought this year, withmany people consistently producing high numbers, well above the nine pointsneeded for Approved.

Third: Jenna

Equal second: Angie and Stevie

And the winner is…

PD Singer!!!! (Once she let us call herPam, but that was before she got all famous and everything)

Congrats to PeeDeePam - and to everybodyelse who survived the year!

An amazing number of people fell by thewayside this year. Let's take a moment to remember Those Who Couldn't Hack Itfor a Whole Year (some of them confessed…most just hid behind the sofa)

Lauren K

Daniela

Sarah

Phoenix

Merry

Writtenwyrdd

Julia B

Erastes

Bid Merry, Aniket and Phoenix a fondfarewell, because they have confessed to needing at least a year off to licktheir wounds. I'm mentioning them, because they had the courage to tell me, soI only scratched them gently. As for the others who attempted to slide offbehind my back...well, let's just say, we may not see them for some time…

The 2012 Koala Challenge

2012-01-08T00:46:00.001-08:00

Have you got it in you to keep writing in 2012? Or have the scars from 2011 not yet healed?

This year's challenge will work the same way as last year's, which I think had a good balance between writing and marketing. Let me know in the comments if you are participating so I know where to take my slashy claws when you fail me.

Here's the structure:

Every month we start on zero and gain points by meeting Koala targets. Each point will raise you up a notch in The Koala's estimation and take you up a challenge level. Depending on the number of points, you earn a badge, created by The Koala's semi-tame goblin, JJ de Benedictis, to display on your blog.

This is how the points are earned (this is almost the same as last year, wit ha few minor changes):

One point for every short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine. This is one point per publication, so check out the ones that allow multiples, and race up the Koala Love charts. Your blog does not count as a submission. However, blog competitions such as Jason Evans' Clarity of Night do count as a submission, as do guest articles of 500 words plus on other people's blogs.

One point for every article submitted to print or online magazine.

One point for achieving The Koala's perfectly reasonable writing/editing target of 4000 words a month.

One point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing) over and above the basic 4000.

One point for each 5000 words of editing over and above the basic 4000.

One point for beta reading a fellow writer's novel and providing feedback. (Nothing shorter than a novel is eligible for this category).

One point for completing and publishing a new author website, or making significant changes/updates to a web site - as a rule of thumb, this means completely redesigning/rewriting four or more pages - not just adding a new picture or short story.

One point for writing a query (one-off point for each novel)

One point for writing your synopsis (again, a one-off point for each novel)

One point for a novel submission

Bonus points may be awarded for impressive marketing initatives or entering selected flash story competitions.

Report in at the end of every month, with your point totals and what you did to get there - as you have been. Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Each person is allowed one month off in the year - you decide if you want a summer holiday or a Christmas break or to have a baby or get your appendix out.

Go, go, go - January counts!

Remember to support one another in your attempts to avoid a Koala Shredding.

Spread the word, all welcome!

Do-do-do-do da-da-da-da

2012-01-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

So how was December for you? 6000 words here, but good 'uns every one. Tantalisingly close to the end of the first draft I've been working on for a while. Well, the first draft of the first draft. You know how it is.

Report in here! And, coming soon... the 2011 McKoala Awards... no guts no glory... and some of you have no guts thanks to me... I'm expecting some changes this year, with some of my most reliable Koalings failing me and some others clawing their way closer to Being Goodness.

Nano or Nono?

2011-11-30T21:04:00.001-08:00

How did you go in November?

The Koala managed a number with a 5 and lots of zeroes. Sadly it was 5000, not 50,000, but at least I'm safe from myself and I look forward to all you smug Nano folk blowing me out of the water.

Report in - full details here.

October's up and it's not even the end of the month!

2011-11-23T21:36:00.001-08:00

Clever Koala.

What a strange month. The Month of All or Nothing aka Goblin's Best Yet. Other than Whirl, Pete and I, everybody is on approved or Smackdown (I took the liberty of putting the two no-respondents on Smackdown anyway...hey, my challenge, my rules).

Which means that not only is Goblin on approves for the first time in a while, but she gets to go and do some serious toenail work.

September's up, how was October?

2011-10-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

McK screeches through the door of late October, smoke coming from her paws...but she makes it with the September scores!

Good work for most, but Merry, have you got space in your basement for my goblin? It'll save on the monthly plane fares.

McK has been travelling, and writing, hence the delays. Up to 15,000 words so far, and hoping to squeeze in a few more before November tolls. Report in here when you are ready - and look out for a post in a week or so, hopefully featuring the results of my interesting Klout experiment involving Tasmanian Devils...

Confessions for September!

2011-10-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes I know the August results aren't up yet, details, details! I'm still watching you after all, and isn't that the most important thing? Quake in fear, my darlings and keep writing...

Now, what do you have to tell me about September? Will I be happy or will I be releasing my pet Goblin from her cage?

Report in - full details here.

Report in for August

2011-09-04T03:02:00.000-07:00

Whoops, was that the first of September whisking past?

McK is embarassed. Not a word in August, not a word. Big Fat Zero. SMAAAAAAAACKDOWN for McK!
Any more smackees to join me? Report in the comments, full rules are here

July results up!

2011-08-15T23:40:00.001-07:00

At least, those that I have...last chance for:

Lauren K
Writtenwyrdd
Mar
Julia
Sylvia
Peter

Bid farewell to Phoenix, who's more into the business than the writing right now, but knowing her, she'll be back... And hello again to Sarah, who will be returning to us this month, having grown her toenails nice and long in preparation.

In other news...am up to 85 books read for the year, and the top ten is finally full!

Report in for July

2011-07-31T02:29:00.000-07:00

My, my is that the first of August I see looming on the horizon? I am narrowly saved from my own claws - I managed a mere 4000 words, but it keeps me safe, although in moderate disgrace. How about you?

Report in the comments, full rules are here

June results are up!

2011-07-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks for bearing with me - again...

I'm sensing some serious competition up at the top for the best results of the year. The rest of us, well, yes, we're still writing though, aren't we?

No new smackdowns, so the goblin goes hungry this month, unless Written and Lauren have grown new toenails. A few are looking vulnerable for next month, though... Back to the keyboard honeys!

Reporting in for June

2011-06-30T17:14:00.001-07:00

McK is about to go underground for a while, nonetheless, she expects full and detailed reporting in the comments for her to come back to. She may also be in a bad mood upon her return, so those stats better be good, or else...

Report in the comments, full rules are here

A victim says...

2011-06-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

"Missing toenails? Please, it took the doctors three hours to shove back in my intestines and stitch me up... nobody told me the goblin eviscerated people, too!!! I know, I know... I'll go humble myself before the koala soon... haven't been able to keep up on the writing deadlines."

May scores up!

2011-06-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

There's a huge gulf between the top and the bottom this month! A good number on approves (purrr), but then everybody else right down at the bottom - and three, read it, three on Super Smackdown! I think that's a record.

Off you go little Goblin...

Reporting in for May

2011-06-01T03:50:00.000-07:00

As Somebody pointed out below, May is now over. Somebody may have to be very careful he doesn't get all his points taken away for excessive smugliness. Remember you're in Koalaland now and there is only one way. The Koala's Way. Yes, it's a dictatorship. So watch it, Mr Somebody...

Speaking of smugliness: 16,000 words written, over 20,000 words edited. The Koala is Smug and Safe on Approved for this month.

How about everybody else? Mega May or Mega Bust? (Julia B, do I have to give you a smackdown so soon, or did you scrape up a few words from somewhere?!)

Report in the comments, full rules are here.

April scores up!

2011-05-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry #bloggerfail meant a delay (even more of a delay) in getting them up, but there they are!

My faithful Goblin is already on her way to Written's place, pliers in hand. (Watch out, she's got doggies...). Lauren K and Merry are down on Smackdown, they've got a month to save themselves from Goblinizing.

Still a good four on Approves, that's pretty good as the year moves on. Noticing some clustering down at the lower numbers there, though. Or maybe you're just keeping Aniket company?

Back to the keyboards chummies!

Bonus point for May!

2011-05-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

Results will be up tomorrow...I'm anticipating the Goblin will need her toenail pincers this month.

Earn yourselves a May bonus point - for taking part in this writing/voice challenge, link via our own Pete.

April was...#koalafail

2011-04-30T03:57:00.000-07:00

OK, OK, so April was quiet. And, um, yes those are the February statistics still up in the margin. Never quite got around to March. That's because I was on holiday, boys n' girls!

The month passed in a frolicsome gambol of friend and family hospitality. Got back a few days ago to a mountain o' washing, work and duties. And then I looked and 'twas the the day before April. And I have written...well it didn't add up to 4000 so I'll, um, be claiming April as my month off...

Who did better than me in April?

Check up on the rules here.

It's playtime!

2011-04-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

Play with the 'Extinct Doesn't Mean Forever' jigsaw puzzle!

Pop over to Phoenix's place for a birthday celebration - more games and puzzles there too!

Remember, only after you've done your writing tasks, boys and girls.

Mad March!

2011-03-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Were you mad for it in March? Or were you too busy diligently carving a novel out of the keyboard?

Come and confess! The Koala is waiting...

Report your writing activities and points in the comment trail!

Check up on the rules here.

Party on!

2011-03-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

Free books and a lot of fun over at Phoenix's new 'Extinct Doesn't Mean Forever' blog!

Count down to competition...

2011-03-23T02:54:00.000-07:00

Starting in a mere four hours over at Phoenix's blog - see below and rush on over there to enter!

Eerie, bloody, mysterious...

2011-03-19T21:45:00.001-07:00

And that's just my toe claws... No, seriously. Oh, OK then.

A few months ago, McK released the Fangs of Doom and spurted out a little tale for an e-anthology: 'Extinct Doesn't Mean Forever'.

The anthology was launched this weekend on Amazon - click on the cover above to check it out. The McK contribution is 'Blood Fruit' and you'll also find a Peter Dudley story in there. All that and more, for a mere $2.99! How can you say no?

Although... you could always try and win a copy before you buy... There will be a launch party this Wednesday 23 March, at editor Phoenix Sullivan's blog. Chat! Competitions! Prizes! Prizes include electronic copies of the anthology, along with goodies contributed by Evil Editor.

Drop by between 8 am Wed and 8 am Thur US Central Time to enter!

Or just go straight to Amazon and order your copy now...

Scores updated!

2011-03-13T23:47:00.000-07:00

Not quite so many on Approved this month I see...tsk tsk.

And a Smackdown! Written - what happened? Did the Goggy Lovin' keep you away from the keyboard.

Stacy in a weird and uncharacteristic episode of kindness I gave you one point for 'barely 4000' - at least you had the honesty to come and report it. Don't you all go expecting such generosity from me every month now.

See how pretty I am with wingies:

Wings added by Phoenix with apologies to JJ de Benedictis, creator of Koala artwork (I know, Goblin, it's like taking a texta to a Van Gogh, but look, wingies!)

Enough treats, now back to work, you lot!

Need a point?

2011-03-12T00:55:00.000-08:00

Check out this flash fiction competition over at Aniket's place - and check out Cindy Pon's new book at the same time!

Update still imminent, just writing/editing hard at the moment - thanks to some good prioritisation The Koala is already looking good for this month!

Looks like there may be some smackdowns this month...

2011-03-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

Last chance to give over your wordage for Feb!

Fabulous February!

2011-02-28T00:51:00.000-08:00

Didya get some Valentine lovin'? Or was it just you and the keyboard, spending another night alone together...

The Koala wants to know your deepest darkest secrets, aka how much you 'really wrote'. Call yourself a writer or call yourself a slacker? The Koala is waiting...

Report your writing activities and points in the comment trail!

Check up on the rules here.

An interesting anthology

2011-02-20T02:11:00.000-08:00

Blog mate, Phoenix, is in the process of putting together an anthology to be published initially as an ebook. Contents is almost final - see her post here to see the inclusions.

The Koala is impressed. Partly because her own name is on it, heh heh. And that of another blogging buddy whose writing she has always enjoyed, yes, that would be you Mr Dudley. But going a step further than that - there are a couple of names on this list which the Koala recognises simply because she has read, and enjoyed, their writing. Phoenix's sphere of influence is vast and growing. The Koala is going to follow the fortunes of this little ebook with great interest.

Movement on the Koala Reading chart

2011-02-16T01:53:00.000-08:00

A new number one and a new number two! Get 'em, read 'em, love 'em!

Happy smiley January!

2011-02-10T17:51:00.000-08:00

Nobody on smackdown! I had my first victim this time last year, and while my claws could use a workout, I'm delighted to see you knuckling down so eagerly. And also slightly ashamed to see so many names on Approves, none of which are mine!

You will observe various silly nicknames in the list. I just can't help myself. Most of you will acquire one which I may or may not use, because the Koala is That Whimsical. I think you'll find yourselves, though.

Sorry for the delay in putting this up. I was a bit busy, yanno, writing. February is looking good...

February's bonus point!

2011-02-03T03:32:00.000-08:00

And report in for January, oh ye, who haven't!!! I'll be updating the sidebar this weekend.

On to February... There's a nice little contest over at friend o' the blog Writtenwyrdd - a mere 200 words of brilliance required. A point for everyone who enters, and if that's not award enough, win and you'll get a book too!

Catch: deadline is Sunday. Go, go, go!

Jolly January!

2011-01-30T02:40:00.000-08:00

Or was it? The month is almost up and it's time to boast about your wordage - or atone for your slacking! Have you made me happy or should I be packing my claws and heading your way? Report your totals in the comments and claim your badges

Reporting Example: Myself

One point for taking part in the introductions post
8000 words written - so one point for the first 4000 and one for each of the next 2000. Three points total here.
One point for submitting a short story this month.

Five points for The Koala!

Check up on the rules here.

Start totting up the pointage...

2011-01-24T03:14:00.001-08:00

...for The Koala is coming!

Results post will be up at the end of the month, but I usually post a prod around this time, just to get you focused. When I put up the results post, please post a quick summary of the writing activities that you've achieved this month, plus your total points.* Yes, I do conduct random spot checks at times, so keep it honest. There's no shame in a lower badge...well, not much...well, OK, so I'm just saying that, because I'm hovering between two and three points so far...the month isn't over...The Koala is inspired...

If you need a little inspiration, don't forget Phoenix is looking for stories along the theme of Extinction for a little e-publishing project. Click here for more information: http://phoenixsullivan.blogspot.com/p/extinct-call-for-submissions.html

*Smackdownees - I'm wiping the slate clean for the start of the year, if that helps. Although I will have no qualms about re-smackdowning you if necessary.

New #1

2011-01-16T01:56:00.001-08:00

To save you the scrolling... up to nine books for the year and a new #1: Major Pettigrew's Last Stand - Helen Simonson. Here's why: Wonderful portrait of English village life with all its petty biases, plus a sharper undercurrent of racism. A beautiful story of love in the older generation, and it's funny too! The best thing, though, and the element that really made this story sing for me, was the strength of characters.

New feature...

2011-01-14T16:59:00.001-08:00

Right under the challenge - McK's top ten books of 2011 - as in books read, rather than books published. I read an eclectic range of books at very expensive speed - so I'm more of a library user than a book buyer for budget and groaning floorboard reasons. I'll read almost anything. Almost. I kind of like it to be good. I thought it might be interesting to keep track of the good 'uns. I will tactfully not mention the bad 'uns. Or the disappointing ones (Mr K, what were you thinking...).

I'm reading like a mad thing at the moment, because for various reasons I'm on a little writing hiatus. Yes my stats will be miserable this month, but they should rocket up in due course. Trust me. Don't you?

Why look what we have here...

2011-01-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

I thought you might like to know that two of our very own Koala Challenge participants offer query critiques.

The first is the lovely Phoenix, who has only permitted me to nibble upon her extremities, being mighty diligent with her wordage. Curses. Find her here.

The other is the generous Goblin, whose artwork graces the Koala Challenge and who is a whizz with the toenail pliers. Oh, yes, and she writes too. Her new critique cave is here

Both are smart cookies, and witty too.

Introduction time!

2011-01-06T01:24:00.000-08:00

Sign up for the challenge below - or just go ahead and do it in this thread!

The Koala is feeling quite smug about all her new victims, sorry, friends. And so many of my old favourites are back on blood, sorry, board.

So I thought it was time for some introductions. And points! Yes, the Koala is feeling all fluffy and loving for the start of the year (this will not last). One point to everybody who posts an introduction - no more than 100 words about your sweet self and your writing.

I'll even do it myself...

The Koala Challenge 2011!

2011-01-04T01:56:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2011 - The Business of Writing!

The 2010 challenge worked very well for many people, with its focus on submission. This year I want to continue that, but I also want to put some emphasis back on the writing itself (which for many of you was the main activity), and I'd also like to start looking at marketing your writing. So, while submission will still be a good way to gain points, it's not going to be a short cut to Approves.

First, the basics... Again, every month we all start on zero and gain points by meeting Koala targets. Each point will raise you up a notch in The Koala's estimation and take you up a challenge level. Depending on the number of points, you earn a badge, created by The Koala's semi-tame goblin, JJ de Benedictis, to display on your blog.

This is how the points can be earned this year:

One point for every short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine. This is one point per publication, so check out the ones that allow multiples, and race up the Koala Love charts. Your blog does not count as a submission. However, blog competitions such as Jason Evans' Clarity of Night do count as a submission.

*Change for 2011* You can earn a point for a blog article submitted to other blogs (public blogs, not private) - if your article is of a good length and shows the type of accuracy/effort devoted to a magazine article, then it's point-worthy. (I'm still not allowing your own blog entries, so I remain fairly evil.)

One point for every article submitted to print or online magazine. *Change for 2011* Now one point per publication as per the short story submissions outlined above.

One point for achieving The Koala's perfectly reasonable writing/editing target of 4000 words a month.

One point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing) over and above the basic 4000.

One point for each 5000 words of editing over and above the basic 4000.

One point for beta reading a fellow writer's novel and providing feedback. (Nothing shorter than a novel is eligible for this category).

One point for completing and publishing a new author website (not amendments - this is a one-off point for the first time you put it up). *Change for 2011* - I'll consider significant changes/updates to a web site for a point - as a rule of thumb, completely redesigning/rewriting four or more pages - not just adding a new picture or short story.

One point for writing a query (one-off point for each novel)

One point for writing your synopsis (again, a one-off point for each novel)

*Biggest change for 2011* One point for a novel submission (no more straight to Approves for a single submission!)

*Another change* Let us know what you've been doing in the way of marketing yourself and/or your books and I may award bonus points.

Bonus points may also be awarded for entering particular flash story competitions, as we did occasionally this year.

Report in at the end of every month, with your point totals and what you did to get there - as you have been. Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Each person is allowed one month off in the year - you decide if you want a summer holiday or a Christmas break or to have a baby or get your appendix out.

Go, go, go - January counts!

In for 2011 so far:

JJdebenedictis
Iasa
Phoenix
Angie
Robin
Merry
PD Singer (the writer formerly known as Pam...)
Stacy
Sarah Laurenson
Sylvia
Whirlochre
Aniket
PJD

And please welcome a new victim, heh heh, Laurel K!

And more new victims, Jenna, Stevie and Daniela! And more - Mar Durango and Sempra!

More people should be signing up/re-signing up, so I'll wait a few days before I put the links up in the sidebar. It also gives you a few more days for December updates...

Remember to support one another in your attempts to avoid a Koala Shredding.

Spread the word, all welcome!

2010 Koala Challenge Awards!

2011-01-01T01:23:00.000-08:00

Award for the Best Manners
Including such fine character traits as faithful reporting and no sassing Your Great Master.
Shared between Sarah and Sylvia

The 'I Know It's Nothing to be Proud of but I got There First' Smackdown Award
Janey

The 'I Know it's Nothing to be Proud of but I Spent the Longest Time on' Smackdown Award
Janey

The 'I Know it's Nothing to be Proud of, and I Was So Enthusiastic But Stuff Got in the Way' Smackdown Award
Stacy (smacked down the month she joined in)

High Five Award
Aniket – who obeyed every rule, most months achieved only one or two points – but finished the year on a high of five!

Award for the Finest Poetry
Whirl
For this little gem:
"There once was a fearsome koala,
came over sabbaticalala.
'Phew,' said her chums,
removed armour from bums.
In Oz — a marsupial ha ha..."

Award for Best Excuse for Not Accruing Pointage
Merry (she floated away with this one - it's hard to beat a flood)

Most Humiliating Smackdown
Me (Yes, I won this one last year too. I have a horrible feeling I'll be winning it every year. Unless some famous writer joins us. Then I'll find some way of awarding it to them…)

Award for the Most Points in a Single Month
Shared between Travis and JJ de Benedictis (both on 20 points, in different months)

In and Out Award for Most Inconsistent Reporting
Travis, were you all happy with your last award? Well, you get this one too… One month you appeared…the next you disappeared…the next you appeared… (This award takes the form of a lettuce leaf.)

And the top award…the person who spent the most time on Approves/Almost Happy… McKoala's Most Consistent Writer and Submitter for 2010 is…well, I thought Robin was going to take this one again, but when I analysed the statistics with more care….

In third place… Robin!
In second place… Sylvia!
In first place, my star of the year, is…. Pam!!! Eight months on approved, one on almost happy – that's hard to beat.

Or is it? 2011 awaits you my pretties… Rules will be up soon, in the meantime keep on writing.

Once again, thank you to JJ de Benedictis for the wonderful artwork that brings the challenge to life. (Ah, my pet...I'll get you some more tasty toenails in 2011, I promise.)

December reporting!

2010-12-30T20:21:00.001-08:00

Get those numbers in!

So far we have McK on Smackdown (whoops), JJ and Robin both on a break (surprisingly neither of you have had one yet, so I have to let you get away with it...), and Sylvia on 5 - great effort for December!

Behind the scenes I'm totting up the numbers for the year and will post the awards tomorrow.

Next year... who's up for another Koala Challenge? As ever, there will be some revision in the rules. What will they be? Commit, and I'll tell you... Oh hang on, is that not entirely fair? Remember...The Koala is Always Right!

November's up!

2010-12-27T18:53:00.001-08:00

And I hereby declare that I will be smacking myself down in December. That always seems to happen after a big edit!

Annual round up and awards coming up! My favourite time of the year! Who's been naughty and who's been nice? AKA, who's slacked off the most and who's stuck faithfully to the keyboard all year? Who wins best excuse this year? And what 'special and yet incredibly appropriate award' will I come up with for everybody else? Oh, it's such fun! And mostly polite.

Furry, I mean, Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T00:52:00.001-08:00

Be sure to have a great time and check in here between Christmas and New Year for the annual round up!

Last reminder...

2010-12-05T02:26:00.000-08:00

Get those November stats in! Hurry, hurry! December lies ahead with all the fun of the annual round up!

Naughty November

2010-11-30T01:21:00.000-08:00

Look out for our end-of-year awards, coming soon! But in the meantime...were you naughty in November? Or did Nanowrimo save you from the Claws of Doom?

So, in November, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

In 2008 I was a better blogger...

2010-11-17T01:03:00.000-08:00

...even when I'd just come out of hospital it was only a day or two between blogs.

"Still not quite firing on all cylinders here. Thinking about doing lots of things. Not actually doing any of them.

Grandma still in hospital with massive headache. Nobody knows how many stitches she has, because the consultant says he lost count half way. Hoping she'll get out later this week.

Mostly I'm reading. I have many intelligent things to say about my reading. Not actually saying any of them.

I'm popping up randomly here and there on the blogosphere, but this is not the time to look out for me. I think Paca's Teddies will lynch me for a woeful performance in the quiz this month.

Well, if I've been up for two hours, it must be time to go back to bed now..."

If I could turn back time...

2010-11-14T13:19:00.000-08:00

...why yes, I can!

Pacatrue, the world's best Professor Alpaca, suggested we look back to 2008. We'll be spending some time over at Evil Editor and putting up some 2008-related posts - I'll put up a list of who's participating later. In the meantime, back in 2008, it turns out that I'd just come out of hospital after a minor operation - and family disasters, rather than writing were on my mind... Anybody remember this? Posted November 14, 2008:

"Here, but owie. Post surgery not quite as awful as I had thought, but a bit tired and sore now and mostly located in bed/on sofa. Got home from hospital yesterday; within a few hours mother-in-law had a fall and is now occupying my vacancy in the hospital. As my nephew put it, 'as soon as one comes out, another one goes in'. She's had many stitches in her head, but apparently no concussion and should get out later today. Her accident happened at the kids school where, bless them, an off duty ambulance officer and nurse (both parents) were on the scene. They worked hard, but they couldn't stop the bleeding that has traumatised half of the infants department; we're still getting calls from parents of freaked-out kids who want to ensure that Soccer Boy's Grandma didn't bleed to death. No, and she is issuing orders from her hospital bed about where her cane should be positioned, who to call and where her car should be parked etc., so we're hoping for a quick recovery.

It never rains but it...you know the one."

Also turning back time...

Pacatrue on http://pacatrue.blogspot.com/2010/11/2008-redo.html
Robin on http://theirishhill.blogspot.com/2010/11/retrospective-its-2008-again.html
Fairyhedgehog on http://fairyhedgehog.blogspot.com/2010/11/remembrance-of-times-past.html
The One True Paca (Prof.) (again) on http://pacatrue.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-ee-dedication.html
Whirl on http://abysswinksback.blogspot.com/2010/11/resurgoriffic.html

I'll add more as I find them. And keep your eyes on EE for some more old timer activity.

October stats

2010-11-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or are there fewer and fewer people who I approve of each month?

Maybe Nano will bring some of you back up again!

And...

Merry
PJD
Travis
Cat of Arc
Laurel
Janey

Haven't heard from you! For a while, in some cases...

In other news, this blog, and a few others, will be returning to 2008 this week. So look out for some old, but juicy, posts!

Any more October stats????

2010-11-09T02:09:00.000-08:00

Hoping to update tomorrow, any more statistics/confessions?

Awesome October

2010-10-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

For you? Will you be trick or treating tonight, or sweating over your keyboard, trying to save yourself from The Razor Sharp Claws of The Koala? Eat your heart out Freddie - The Koala's here...

Or just for me? Six points for editing/rewriting over 32,000 words, plus a point for a short story submission (accepted too!), plus another for a thirty-word story (see below), has The Koala feeling slightly smug this month.

So, in October, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Bonus points!

2010-10-23T22:28:00.001-07:00

This month, The Koala is awarding bonus points for thirty-word stories. Yes, a mere thirty words! Only one point is available for this - but only one point saves you from a shredding!

Allow The Koala to commence the proceedings...

When we married, my husband promised me a gold bangle for every year I remained faithful. Forty years later, his brother helped me bury him. Thirty-nine bangles jangled on my arm.

September results up!

2010-10-12T03:40:00.001-07:00

And I see a shocking lack of names under 'Approved'. The year is not yet over, my honeys. My claws are still sharp... yes, yes, I know I've had to smack myself down this month...but that aside. I think you'll see a big, big jump in my numbers for October. Oh yes. It's all action in the eucalypt.

The Koala lays down the claw-gauntlet. The goal is to get as many of us on Approved for October as possible. Who's with me? C'mon chummies, let's write!

Motheree, Merryree and Aniketteeee

2010-10-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

...report in! Last chance!

September Statistics!

2010-09-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

Is the steam hissing from the end of your pen? Are there blisters on the ends of your poor little fingers? Are the moths the only things left in your wallet after you've spent all your pennies on query stampage? Then the Koala is proud!

So, in September, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Start scrambling!

2010-09-27T01:35:00.001-07:00

The end of the month is nigh! Get those last wise words slapped down on paper; send those last queries wafting out on the breeze of hope... the Koala Countdown is imminent!

As requested...update from The Eucalypt!

2010-09-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining, the weather is warming up...what's that you say? Autumn? Winter? Pah, I spit gumnuts on your seasonal misery! Spring is sprung and the weeds are riz, I know where the birdies iz. Third level of The Eucalypt, fourth branch, right at the end, in their nest.

The little Koalas will shortly start a two-week break from school. They hopped in the pool last weekend, but came out as if on springs, because the water was freezing. Yes, we taped it. Heh heh. Soccer Boy has started summer soccer and will also play Oztag; Princess is happy with gymnastics. She's finally cracked the cartwheel. Mr Koala slaves away daily in his place of slavery, then comes home and grumbles; I slave daily in my place of slavery, then come home and write stuff :-).

The Eucalypt is flourishing, but we are looking forward to a visit from Mr Electrician, who may finally be able to tell us which light connects to which switch and cease the random turning on and off that goes on every night.

This isn't a very exciting update is it? Well, you did ask. I promise you a more thrilling one in the future. In the meantime, I must go and hunt down a hairy haggis, for I have promised to introduce some of the local koalas into the wondrous world of Scotland's finer foods this Saturday...

Get your critical chops around this

2010-09-16T03:31:00.000-07:00

This is a song lyric:

"I've got six things on my mind
You're no longer one of them."

Question 1 - without Googling - name that band! And the song. No googling - I just want to know if anyone is as tragic as I am.

Question 2 - critique this little sentence - why do you think it's so effective? (Because it is, you know. Well, it works on me. Stuck in my head for many years effective.)

August stats up!

2010-09-16T03:30:00.000-07:00

Travis, PJD, Aerin and Janey - any stats for me? Or it's straight to Smackdown my luvvies.

Whirly winner (and report in below!)

2010-08-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

Whirl forgot to let us know that he won Best Use of Prompt at Written's contest! See winners' announcement. Congrats to Whirl, and if you don't read anything else today, at least read his entry. It will cure you of any misery.

Meanwhile, report in, or you will need to read Whirl's entry many, many, many times...

Start totting up your August points...

2010-08-28T04:25:00.000-07:00

You still have a few days to save yourselves! Then come here and let me know if in August you have...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Off you go and vote!

2010-08-24T23:33:00.001-07:00

While I ended up missing Written's contest, some of my more diligent (or concerned) victims have earned their point. Pay the contest a little visit here to read or vote!

Bonus point competition now open!

2010-08-12T03:45:00.000-07:00

Drift by Writtenwyrdd's place to see the prompt. Deadline is 22 August, so get thinking!

Even teddy bears will hate you

2010-08-11T04:34:00.001-07:00

That title will mean something to some of you! Just taking a moment to say a fond farewell to the quiz that I've been doing almost every day for the past two? three? years.

A thank you to Paca, who organised the quiz and kept on organising the quiz, despite only winning, um, was it once? in all that time. A thank you to Blogless and Sarah for being so smart and winning so often. And an even bigger thank you to all those who let me win sometimes!

Memories... The literature section, with every ten questions including at least one about Stephen King's The Dark Tower series, which none of us had ever read. The questions that all of us disagreed with (ever heard of a 'shot' of coffee, anyone, because I have!). The dodgy Scottish ones. The dodgy Aussie ones.

Ah, good times.

Bonus points from August!

2010-08-09T04:12:00.001-07:00

Sarah's pointed me in the direction of a competition that I should have already known about, serves me right for being such a blogging slacker. Anyway, our worthy Written has just the thing lined up for us - a flash contest, entries due by 28 August.

Flash fiction is a great writing exercise. The intensity of holding together a complete story in just a few words, with theme, character, plot and progress, plus adding in description and hopefully some imagery, not to mention character development, is a novel in miniature.

Take a look at this introductory post - and I'll post an update when full entry details are available -

http://writtenwyrdd.typepad.com/writtenwyrdd/2010/08/a-moment-of-greed-and-a-contest-prep-plea.html#comment-6a00e54ef251c588330133f2f17e1d970b

As per Clarity of Night, one point for submitting - no points for writing and not submitting!

Results up - and a new bonus?

2010-08-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

Chris, mdames60, any word from you two? Chris, can't remember what you've been up to this month, go on and remind me. Mdame, I've already sent the Goblin your way, want another visit?!

OK, I like the bonus point system, particularly as it saved my furry butt last week. No, really, I like it because it pushes us to write and submit something we may not otherwise have written. And it saved my furry butt. Which may need saving again. No, really, it's all about the writing.

Anyway, I haven't stumbled across anything for this month yet. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Report in for July!

2010-07-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

Yanno, chaps and chapesses, I'm flipping glad that I allowed one point for entry to Clarity of Night, because this month, I have...one point.

How about the rest of you? In July have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

The McKoala Month

2010-07-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

The end is coming... I'll be putting up the reporting post in a few days, so I hope you're ready... *checks back through own memory* ooops

Remember, one point for entering Clarity of Night! Don't care whether or not you made the 40s club, just that you made the effort!

Claritisers

2010-07-26T02:54:00.001-07:00

I passed the first test and I'm #43 under The Other Name. If you're also through, please let us know here so that my other victims can go and read if they wish.

You qualify for the point whether or not you made the cut. The Koala is proud of anyone who submits, because she knows how hairy scary that can be!

The competition is here.

June is up!

2010-07-17T23:49:00.000-07:00

But I think you all knew your status anyway. A bonus point for this month can be achieved by entering this little competition: http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com/2010/07/uncovered-short-fiction-contest-is.html. You'll find many familiar faces there.

Rules reminder: a novel submission always takes you up on to approves. This is the Year of the Submission! A mere twelve submissions this year will keep you in the Koala's good books. How easy is that?

Ahoy! Slackers!

2010-07-03T23:00:00.001-07:00

Who hasn't reported in? Hurry up or you go straight on smackdown!!!

June reporting!

2010-06-30T02:56:00.000-07:00

Success or shame? In June have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

With the Submission of the Great Dissertation (making Paca into Doctor Paca) and the Commencement of the Great Blog (making Phoenix into Evil Editor Birdie), there are no more Special Furry or Bird Rules.

***Bonus! If you took part in Paca's voice challenge, give yourself a point!!!***

May scores up!

2010-06-22T04:35:00.001-07:00

Thought it might be nice. What with July coming and all.

A disgraceful number of us were on a break. We should be ashamed. Congratulations to all who resisted the lure of Slackeriness.

Way back at the start of the month Merry issued a challenge to herself - that she must submit this month or go to instant smackdown, no matter how many words she's written. Just a reminder for you there, Merry... Oh, yes, and while the urge to write is wriggling up from my little toe, it hasn't quite made it all the way to anywhere useful yet. Still, it's going in the right direction. Hm, might take a lightning-quick novel submission to save me this month *peruses little agent shortlist*.

Actually, though, when I see Robin's catalogue of Stuff From The Koala's Life, I'm suddenly not surprised that last month, and most of this, turned out to be unexpected write-off. And she didn't even mention everything that my furry paws have been juggling. Now I'm wondering how I'm fitting in breathing.

Nonetheless. Normal service will be resumed. Soon.

yes, yes, I'm a slacker

2010-06-19T04:12:00.000-07:00

phew, tg I've got that whole savage beast challenge things to make sure I at least send off a submission before the end of the month. Also feeling slight twinges of creativity in my little toe, so I'm guessing they'll work their way upwards and reach my brain eventually and I'll be writing up a storm. I hope. Maybe even visiting some blogs too *slinks off guiltily*.

Listen to the Koala's Dulcet Tones

2010-06-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's voice post time again. We haven't done this for a while, but our Great Robin kicked off a little voice recording project a couple of years ago and Dr Paca has revived it. My little piece is below this message, more will be going up throughout Friday - I'll post some links later. Got the link now - thanks to the lovely Sylvia all the links can be found in one place - right here. I'll be listening to them all tomorrow.

Sit back and relax and listen to... Middle Class Mums (it's very short, I promise - 51 seconds to be exact - not a full story, just an excerpt).

Hellooooo the end of May!

2010-05-30T04:51:00.000-07:00

See bold para at the end of this post for an easy point for June! ('easy' is a relative term...)

Only a day or so to go, so in May have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

With the Submission of the Great Dissertation (making Paca into Doctor Paca) and the Commencement of the Great Blog (making Phoenix into Evil Editor Birdie), there are no more Special Furry or Bird Rules.

However...there will be a point for everybody who participates in Paca's Voice Fest. Some of us have done this before and the results vary from passionate and articulate to, um, the rest of us. Click here for more info and follow the Paca Posts for the final decision as to what we will be reading.

Where do you write?

2010-05-26T23:16:00.000-07:00

While preparing yourself for the end of month reporting (coming soon!), hie thee to thy writing spot and tell us a little something about it.

Where do you sit? What do the surroundings look like? What can you hear? What can you smell? And what do you need to kick off your best writing?

April scores finally up!

2010-05-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

The Koala is back downunder, nestled in the branches of the eucalypt. Those silver birches are all very fine, but they do poke one in the back so dreadfully. And the leaves - not quite so tasty as those from the beloved eucalypt.

Apologies for the delay, *koffs out some more ash*, but let the shredding begin!

Not a bad month overall, most of you are keeping your little noses to the grindstone. Kudos to Aniket for hanging on to his three points and to Paca for, under Special Furry Rules, submitting his dissertation and heading straight to the top for the first and possibly the only time (dissertation being all done now). By the way, his dissertation was of such fine calibre that we must now refer to him as Dr Paca and genuflect in his presence. Except for me of course. (Did I eve tell you about my doctorate in Eucalypt Studies from the University of Marsupials? Ah, well, that's a story for another time...)

OK, so... who didn't report in? Chris, but I happen to know she's been submitting, so she is safe again (grr)*. Nothing from Catvibe and mdames60, and no second chances this month (in that I gave you one already, so get those Smackdown badges up on your blogs right now, young ladies).

As for Janey, her butt is so shredded there is nothing more for the Koala to sink her claws into, so I've despatched the Goblin with her toenail pliers. You will hear the shrieks, wherever you are.

Enough fun, back to your desks everybody.

*she sent a missive by private bat mail, it's very efficient, but that fruit bat poop doesn't half make a mess of my nice leaves.

This is not me!

2010-05-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

While googling myself, as one does, I found a host of McKoala impostors. Shock! Horror!

This is not me.

This is also not me.

Nor is this (scroll down to second bottom entry). Or this.

And if you are of a strong constitution, check this one out. But it wasn't me. (Either behind or in front of the camera).

It's perturbing actually. I have been McKoala for a very long time and I'm not too enchanted by the prospect of sharing my identity. Some people might mistake the less tasteful utterings of the other McKoala's for mine.

I can't really take my wrath out on them, perfect strangers that they are. However, I do have a handy whipping wench right here. Step forward O'Koala, if you dare...

There will be a slight delay...

2010-05-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

...because, The Koala, while on her travels, has left her computer cable in another destination. I will squeeze what life I can out of the battery, but will wait until I'm fully charged to put up the April stats. Look out for them at the start of next week.

Use the time as you wish. Save yourself, if necessary, and post new stats below. But then, remember, you will have a very short May...

Benevolent, me, oh yes.

My, my, looks like April is nearly over already...

2010-04-27T03:40:00.001-07:00

*says the Koala smugly, stroking her little list of submissions, plus the planning notes she has been making for a new yarn*

So, in April, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that.. *Score Phoenix!*

koff koff sticks head out of ash cloud for a moment

2010-04-23T02:21:00.000-07:00

To say: Happy Anniversary EE! Four glorious years! Never has time flown so fast or so entertainingly.

I won't even attempt to be funny, because as we all know, you are the only real funny one around here.

Here's to four more years! And more!

*Dear Readers, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, go eat a tube of wasabi as penance, and then go here for the party. And here for the real thing.

Long Distance Slashing

2010-04-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

The Koala is now a victim of the Great Cloud of Ash, finding herself stranded up a pine tree in Ancestral Koala McLand, without a flying fox in sight for her return journey. Pine needles are all very fine for a holiday, but she will soon be longing for a nibble of sweet eucalypt.

Guess what this means for you? Yes, she will be even stroppier by the end of the month. Write fast and write well. Snarl.

In which I officially smack down...

2010-04-09T01:15:00.000-07:00

Laurel!

Have fun down there with Janey and Mdame... Warning - two months on this status with no improvement and you go to super smackdown and I send round my pet goblin with her toenail pulling device.

How to humiliate your mother in public

2010-04-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

A special technique, as used by Soccer Boy. A grumpy, sore-footed, tired Soccer Boy who had been dragged around the local shops for longer than five minutes.

I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen for years in a crowded bookshop. We had a lovely chat while Soccer Boy grew increasingly twitchy by my side. I thought it was boredom, but, actually he was planning his revenge. He waited until my friend had left, and then asked loudly: 'Where did you meet her, mum? Was it while you were IN JAIL?'

We went home. Which was exactly what he wanted.

ps The Koala has never been, nor does she ever plan to be, in jail.

March scores up!

2010-04-06T07:28:00.001-07:00

Still waiting for Chris and Laurel; and the-already-disgraced Janey V and mdames60.

Impressive work from the rest of you. Particular mention to Angie for her blinding 16 points, despite no agent submission - just pure hard graft through writing and editing. The Koala sends you a special Eucalypt Treat.

And, of course, Aniket...three whole points! Whoop de doop! Take a look at his comment in the previous trail and visit his blog for new inspirations.

In which The Koala recovers...report in!

2010-03-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

*staggers over to the claw sharpener...swigs from the Acid Breath bottle...flexes fangs*

So, in March, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that..

Why the koala is quiet

2010-03-22T03:07:00.001-07:00

First Soccer Boy was sick. Then Princess was sick. Now The Koala is sick.

This makes her even grumpier. So with the end of the month coming up...I'd get writing and submitting if I were you...

Behind the scenes of submission

2010-03-09T00:35:00.000-08:00

I actually hate the submission process. At the start it's all so bright, shiny and exciting, sending your baby out into the world. Then the knockbacks start...the waiting for partials to be read...the waiting, the waiting, the waiting. I go off the whole process pretty fast.

Then I have to figure out what to do while I'm doing it. Or waiting, because there's not much doing going on after the sending. I'm spending most of my time trying to decide what to do next. Revise my old beloved, 'Maureen', who I think I half-revised and then abandoned for some reason, but, hey, I still love her and I know somebody out there will love it too... (Hey, who wouldn't love a violent novel in Scottish dialect, complete with soccer and family tragedy?) Or should I leap into my next Big One - the village ghosts threatened by the building of a new dam? I mean, who can resist characters with names like 'The Mad Mother', 'The Drowned Girl in the Bath' and 'The Returning Soldier'. Or I could just write some short stories.

Or I could just spend so much time thinking about it that I do absolutely nothing.

Submitting is bad for my mojo. But nobody ever got into print by not submitting, right? Soooo...off we go again.

Not one but three smackdowns...

2010-03-04T02:25:00.000-08:00

Janey, Diane J, mdames60. No more Ms Nice Koala. Collect your badges of shame for the month of February.

The Koala is disappointed in you. Apply to her in writing if you would like to know how to escape from the Claws of Doom in the next month or so. There will be a way. But it may be unpleasant...

KOALA SMACKDOWN

The Koala is moderately happy

2010-03-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

Look at all those names at or near the top of the list. I am somewhat impressed by your diligence. Keep up the good work! As for the rest of you...you know who you are...

And...
Diane J
Phoenix
Janey
mdames60

You have 24 hours to report in...or it's straight to smackdown for you...

Report in!

2010-02-25T16:14:00.001-08:00

Yes, the end of the month is nigh and it's time to start totting up your points for February. In the comments, please let me know what you've been up to. You may tot up your own points (please do, maths is not The Koala's strong point), but I will be checking up randomly, so no porkies!

So, in February, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that...

Back to blogging nonsense

2010-02-17T21:53:00.001-08:00

I'm hearing good things about your progress this month. Who will join me at the top? Wait and see...

Now that we're up and running I may sometimes even talk about other things. Like a little parental bragging. Soccer Boy had his swimming carnival today and came third in breaststroke, fourth in backstroke and narrowly missed the freestyle final. Aw, bless. He also tore up the field at the soccer trials, just waiting to hear which team he gets into, fingers crossed for As or Bs. At school, he's in a composite class this year, with only four of his friends and a much larger younger group. Not ideal, however on the plus side he is enjoying the unexpected pleasure of coming top of the class, which is a whole new experience for him. And to be fair, I suppose he is also ahead of the other four. Go Soccer Boy!

Princess is thriving with a class of new, loyal subjects who think that she's super cool because she's already done Year 1. Luckily for her, they're young enough not to realise that repeating a year is, um, not necessarily a good thing. She's happily leading them in The Way of the Princess. Yesterday she was throwing sticks at poor, long-suffering Soccer Boy while he was trying to eat lunch. Greatly assisted by a posse of her little subjects who thought this was so cool they were running around and picking up sticks for her, so she could stand and fire them at Soccer Boy, machine gun style. It's clearly just a matter of time before Princess and her Mummy will be spending some quality time in the Principal's office.

Happy days!

Only one of you has the right idea...

2010-02-09T02:07:00.000-08:00

And that would be Mother (Re)produces for the wonderful suggestion of a 'perma-smack' button for Catvibe: "I'm thinking dangling in a net just over McKoala, so she can give her a whack between leaf munches". What a beautiful vision. I don't need a button. I can just dream about it.

The rest of you, fie upon your foregiveness and general niceness! What nonsense! The challenge is about endurance! Pain! Claws!

By a huge majority, Janey is saved. I'll even give her the five points she didn't report. (But don't try that again Missy!). Catvibe and Diane J are...sssss...ssssss...ssssss...OK...because it's the first month....one point each.

Fail to report in next month, though, and you will be.....SMACKED DOWN!

Time to vote!

2010-02-06T01:51:00.000-08:00

See pleas/excuses/apologies below. Who deserves to be spared? Vote in the comments below! You have until Monday night, US time.

(Apparently The Koala is ahead of the trend, as ever, having last year created her early version of this year's fad...the accountability group...check this out: http://www.calliopecontent.com/the-creative-entrepreneur/2010-01/accountability-groups. Then GET WRITING AND SUBMITTING!)

Smacked down so soon!

2010-02-03T22:35:00.001-08:00

Bow your heads in shame, Catvibe, Diane J and Janey.

And we're about to have some fun. Luckily for one of the three above, The Koala has just received a last-minute sign up to the Challenge, who assures me she is already replete with points. I await confirmation, but she has made The Koala happy.

Therefore, to celebrate, I will show mercy on one of the above. And we get to decide who it is. All three must write an apology to The Koala, explaining why they were unable to fulfil their writing obligations in January. We will then vote and decide which one of the three is most deserving of mercy. That person will join the brave-for-at-least-admitting-her-points Iasa on one point. The other two...smackdown. No apology...smackdown. Deadline for apologies: Friday night, US time.

PS - I have ways of reaching Catvibe and Janey V, heh heh, but if anyone knows Diane J, please could you point her this way...thank you!

One, two, three...go!

Major dramas today!

2010-02-01T02:20:00.001-08:00

Too tedious to relate, but should have the time to put up the Koala Stats tomorrow.

Anyone who hasn't reported in by the time I change the sidebar...you're on instant smackdown! Did I mention that smackdown comes with penalties? Ooops, just a little slip of memory...

Report in!

2010-01-27T21:34:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, it's not quite the end of the month yet, but this will give you a little time to contemplate. Your navel, if necessary, but I'd rather you were totting up your points. Also this allows time for any questions and clarifications.

So, in the comments, please let me know what you've been up to. You may tot up your own points (please do, maths is not The Koala's strong point), but I will be checking up randomly, so no porkies!

So, in January, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

New! Written your query? (one point)

New! Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that...

Revving up...

2010-01-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

I've added all the participants' names with links to their blogs (apart from the blogless two) - drop by and offer support/teasing/threats, as appropriate.

The Koala is busy with submission prep for her manuscript and Bak to Skool dramas for the little koalas. She greatly fears she may not actually be sending anything out this week. Which means...yes..the shocking may come to pass...The Koala will be unable to approve of herself. And in the very first month too. *rushes back to draft query and starts editing* Nope, still not there. *mumble*.

In fact, I wonder how many points I've got... 4000 words, check. Edited more, check. Entry to Jason's, check. New website, check. Beta read, check. What else can I drum up by the end of the week, I wonder... Might be time to flick out a few short stories back out into the Big Bad World.

Well, nobody promised it was going to be easy...

That girl, she did alright...

2010-01-20T18:56:00.000-08:00

The Koala fur fluffeth up with joy - under her alterative id she won Readers' Choice over at Clarity of Night. She may treat herself to an extra leaf or two from the eucalypt tonight.

Aniket and Chris also won awards - check their stories out too! We have previous winners in our midst as well, in PJD and Janey V, plus a bunch of members of Jason's 40s club. Congratulations to everyone who entered, as well as everyone who won an award, because I have to say the standard was just so high and, while it was hard work, it was a pleasure to read so many varied stories. (My poor eyeballs, though!)

The end of the month is just over a week away... I hope everyone's working hard... I've made a couple more changes to the points system - mostly to reflect the work and preparation in getting ready to submit. (See this post from the wondrous Janet Reid for the perfect preparation checklist).

It's all part of the package...but...keep writing!