Sunday, January 22, 2012

The 2011 Koala Awards

Ah, I do love this. I look back over the year and check out all the scores and the excuses... Here we go for 2011...there are some new awards this year, just for fun...


Most Sympathetic Bystander aka Loudest Gloating for Having the Sense to Not Actually Get Involved: Fairyhedgehog

Person who Talked the Most about Reporting In, but Never Did: Travis

Award for the Best Manners: not sure if I'm awarding this one this year. I think everybody sassed me at some point. Although Angie, Sempra, Stevie, PD, Stacy and Jenna were pretty nice to me mostly. Tell you what, split this one six ways. The rest of you Must Try Harder.

The 'I Know It's Nothing to be Proud of but I got There First' Smackdown Award: Writtenwyrdd

Most Humiliating Smackdown: Me. Again. I'm an embarrassment to myself.

Award for Best Excuse for Not Accruing Pointage: Iasa "I spent two weeks in a cave" (that's the best I got this year. No, it's not up there with "I got married" or "I got flooded" – come on you lot, Must Try Harder)

Worst Excuse: Whirl for: "A chimpanzee ate my homework"

Worst Poetry Award: (yes, last year this was a Best Poetry Award) Whirl for
How he cruised
in the slipstream
of a koala's laxness
Now his corpse lies strewn
upon the floor,
bollocksless.

Award for the Most Points in a Single Month: Angie (30 - she admits it was the goad of Nano that got her there, but who cares. Impressive!)

Most Graphic Description of a Koala Attack: Merry (I won't put you through it again, but she mentioned intestines and surgery)

High Five Award (for most achieving a high score after months' of dedication to low scoring): this year it's the High Fifteen Award and it goes to…. Iasa

In and Out Award for Most Inconsistent Reporting: well, this is humiliating, one year she won the top award, the next she came third overall, but this year… due to international moves and other such shabby excuses the winner of this one is… Robin!

And now for the big one…McKoala's Most Consistent Writer and Submitter for 2011
This was really hard fought this year, with many people consistently producing high numbers, well above the nine points needed for Approved.
Third: Jenna
Equal second: Angie and Stevie

And the winner is…

PD Singer!!!! (Once she let us call her Pam, but that was before she got all famous and everything)

Congrats to PeeDeePam - and to everybody else who survived the year!

An amazing number of people fell by the wayside this year. Let's take a moment to remember Those Who Couldn't Hack It for a Whole Year (some of them confessed…most just hid behind the sofa)
Lauren K
Daniela
Sarah
Phoenix
Merry
Writtenwyrdd
Julia B
Erastes

Bid Merry, Aniket and Phoenix a fond farewell, because they have confessed to needing at least a year off to lick their wounds. I'm mentioning them, because they had the courage to tell me, so I only scratched them gently. As for the others who attempted to slide off behind my back...well, let's just say, we may not see them for some time…





13 comments:

Whirlochre said...

Here's to a successful 2012 full of misery, pain and suffering...

stacy said...

I admit it. I had nothing to report for December. But I am on track for some koala encouragement for January. : )

Aw, I'm thrilled to get the Best Manners award. *flutters eyelashes* You like me! You really really like me!

jjdebenedictis said...

Con-scratch-ulations to all the "winners"!

Angie said...

Hey, awesome! Congrats to all the other winners, and especially Pam! :D

Angie

Robin Billings said...

Most Inconsistent Reporting - a perfect written reflection of my 2011, McK.

But watch out, baby, 'cause 2012 is steamrollin' along! Just sayin'.

fairyhedgehog said...

Thank you, thank you!

I gladly accept this award for the "Loudest Gloating".

Although I'm not sure it truly compares with a previous accolade from her dreadfulness: "for clarity and use of cow".

Stevie Carroll said...

Congratulations to all the winners.

Jenna Jones said...

Congratulations to everybody for at least making some kind of impression. Good luck for 2012!

PD Singer said...

Did I get all famous? *looks around* I had to change my name to show up right on a blog I write for, and blogger hates two names.

*bows* Thank you!

McKoala said...

Famous in Koala Circles!

Peter Dudley said...

What, no wallflower award?

Congrats to all, and I hope Whirl was able to have his bollocks surgically reattached.

Travis Erwin said...

Now wait a damn minute. never is a strong word and I did chime in a few times ... okay maybe not nearly as often as I talked about but I did report in and I had a few good months as well as my most successful writing year yet.

At the risk of forever getting banished I suddenly wonder what Koala meat tastes like. After all we writers are not the only ones that can get skewered. : )

McKoala said...

Ha, the Koala is unskewerable. And in the event that you do nibble upon my wondrous flesh, the poison'll get ya.

According to my records, you did visit, but I think you last reported in in 2010...

2012: The Year of the Travis?