The 2010 Koala Challenge Awards

The moment you've all been waiting for...the awards to end all awards...the Koala Challenge Awards!

Best Excuse for a day off: JC Montgomery: "I'm getting married."
Worst Excuse for a day off: Blogless Troll: everything he said.

First Smackdown: Whirlochre
Best exit from a Smackdown: Whirlochre (mainly because I think he was the only one who actually completed his penalty, including, um, me)

Longest time on Smackdown: Blogless Troll
Only victim of Koala Supersmackdown: Blogless Troll

Most humiliating Smackdown: The Koala (mumble)

Most polite manipulator of the rules: Sarah (see, you hardly noticed her doing that, did you? she quietly got herself permission to enter total weekly wordage rather than daily, tut tut)
Runner up: Chris Eldin (never once posted her stats, but made sure via other means that I always knew she was writing, and thus never gave me the pleasure of punishing her)
Second runner up: Janey V (I was never quite sure what she was up to, but somehow she got herself on smackdown, out of smackdown, up and down, turned me around and now I'm all dizzy)

Best illustrator: well, duh, JJ de Benedictis (but if she sees this, she's in trouble, she's supposed to be 'on a break') - and she's a runner up for the very last award, too, the one that really matters, so read on to find out what it is...

Most diligent reporter of wordage: shared between Sarah and Sylvia (the Koala thanks you for your diligence!)

Shortest time in the challenge before requesting a break: Precie (was it five weeks or six?!)

Flakiest Challenge Commander after she got that pesky job: The Koala (sorry!)

And, finally, the one that actually means something...the award for the most consistent writer...the person who spent the longest time on 'Koala Approves' status throughout the year...the person who thus has a novel she can be proud of...the person who puts us all to shame...is....: Robin!
Runner up: JJ de Benedictis

Congratulations to Robin, may the rest of us be ashamed of ourselves and roll on 2010!

2010 challenge? What, don't you lot want a break? Yes, probably, but it will take a different form and may be more sympathetic to those with office jobs. Now I have one. Selfis? Moi? The Koala is cogitating. Quake, all ye who write.

So many songs, so little time.

Whirl kindly offered me Greg Lake on a platter. Nay, a poisoned chalice, thought I! Do not accept! Plus, it's cheesy, but I don't actually like it, so it's not my grand finale. (Although if you want a listen, it's here.)

I was beyond tempted to offer you this little gem. However, technically it's not a Christmas song, plus David Essex is so good-looking he's almost ugly, if you see what I mean. It's kind of annoying. Along with that more than sincere sincerity. And those puppy dog eyes. Oh, yes, and that song. Ick.

This is probably the Christmas song that irritates me beyond all others. Sorry, Sir Paul, but I've only just got it out of my head when, hey ho, here comes next Christmas and it's stuck in my head again for the next 11 months.

When it comes to doing good, a decent tune, a collection of 80s fashion, plus several gratuitous looks at the drummer from the Boomtown Rats, Simon Crowe, who I had a long crush on as a teen, you can't beat this one. (I challenge you to spot Simon Crowe. Here's a clue. Crowd scene. By the way, I might have risen to Whirl's cartoonish brilliance had I not been distracted by my glimpses of the handsome Simon and spent two hours combing the web for old Boomtown Rats songs..and, um, OK, photos...)

But for its perfect combination of charm, corn and Christmas spirit, I give you my Festive Song Choice for 2010...eat your heart out Mariah, I like the kid version.

Merry Christmas from Koalaland!

One of my Christmas faves

Putting aside the Boodthirsty Battle of the Bodgy Christmas Tunes just for one moment (just for a moment, Whirl. No, I didn't say it was over. Don't worry. I'll have something special for you tomorrow...) here's one of my Christmas faves.

I remember listening to this in my tiny bedroom at home, on my little blue transistor and thinking, this is just, just, just, so cool. When you consider that my previous ideas of Christmas music came courtesy of Wizzard and Slade, (see below), I think you'll understand.

I give you The Waitresses. And random italics too, apparently.

You can't keep a good marsupial down!

Why, oh, why would I post wombling nonsense when I have this little beauty up my sleeve?

The hair! The clothes! The meaningful looks!

Take that Mr Eyeball!

Another heartbreaker...

I'm having fun with my Christmas tunes here. I think I'll keep it up until Christmas.

Between Christmas and New Year look out for the Koala Challenge Awards - many of you diligent writers out there will be honoured by the koala. Of course, it helps if you actually took part in the challenge.

In the meantime, I offer you the magnificently doleful Jona Lewie, who, in cheesy announcer style, just can't stop that cavalry..

Possibly the most heart-wrenching Christmas song ever

From The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.

Another whisky over here!

Another Christmas Classic

This song brings back so many Christmas memories it almost makes me cry.

Hard to imagine, I know, particularly with the naffest video of all time to accompany it, but I think fellow Brits may be weeping along with me.

May I present to you the wonderful Wizzard and 'I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day'...

*sniff sniff* anyone for an over-emotional Christmas circle dance...

A little more Noddy

While making one of my usual hilarious, and yet deep, comments (yes, that's what they are...stupid and trivial - why no, I think you must be mistaking me for somebody else) on Le Blog of Whirl, I inadvertently committed the classic UK Christmas faux pas of giving Noddy Holder/Slade credit for 'I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day', which is, of course, the wondrous work of Wizzard.

With apologies to Noddy, may I introduce you to another work of genius, the sound of Slade, with the granular Noddy at the microphone, and the Christmas sounds of my distant childhood...

McK still lives!

A relapse necessitated another slack off, but I think I'm really on the road to recovery now. Cross fingers and claws please.

I did carve out a little writing time and am tantalisingly close to being finished with the edits on WiW. At about the worst time of year - now I'm going to be gripped by the 'send before Christmas or after Christmas' question. If I get it finished by next week, I think I may send out to a couple of agents and then hang on until January for the rest.

Any thoughts or advice, koallettes?

Watch out for a end of year round up on the Koala challenge, coming soon!