Monday, May 11, 2009

Welcome to Koala Smackdown!

Believe it or not I have showed restraint over the past four or five months. I have attempted to be understanding; I have, in my benevolent Koala-like manner, occasionally offered writers a slightly longer piece of rope with which to hang themselves. Now, at last, the time has come. My claws are unsheathed and sinking into not one, but two, miscreants...

I invite you to view the bloody remains of:


Not only must these two now display the butt-kicked badge prominently on their blog, they must feature underneath it the following message:

Dear All

Alas, I have not met the Koala's kind, generous and loving challenge of writing a mere 100 words six days a week. You may not see me for some time, because the depth of the clawmarks in my butt make it impossible for me to sit in a computer chair.

I understand that the only way to be free of the humiliating stain of displaying my 'The Koala Kicked My Butt' badge, and to placate the enraged Koala, is to write a minimum of 2000 words in a single week and also to direct the Koala to some highly witty web site or YouTube video where she may laugh off her disappointment in me. That modest target has been set by the Koala while in a relatively good mood. Further infringements will incur further challenges of increasing complexity.

I also understand that a Goblin, disguised as JJdeBenedictis, will shortly appear and pull out all my toenails.

Yours sincerely


PS Other, more successful, participants in the Koala's challenge may also feel free to mock me


jjdebenedictis said...

*clacks pliers in anticipation*

Sarah Laurenson said...



And scary

J.C. Montgomery said...

I think I'll spend my "mocking" time "making" time with my keyboard lest I sink any further into my own humiliation and suffer the same fate.

Be afraid my friends, be very afraid.

For there by the grace of the benificent Koala goes thee.

JaneyV said...

OOOOWWWW! OK I asked for that.


Has anybody seen my limbs?

JaneyV said...

The first part of the punishment is up. I must go do the day job and I WILL start on the writing later on.

Aniquez de los mil luces said...

The mighty Koala is most merciful Janey. Fear thy wrath. :D

You seriously are awesome McK and a wee bit scary too. :P

Whirlochre said...

Have performed origami on all my dangly bits, beaten my dustbin into a suit of armour — and conceded with a whimper.

Can't say when I'll manage this 2000, but I'll crack it at some stage.

sylvia said...

Ow ow ow ow jeez.

I did 7 pages today and I think I'll go do some more RIGHT NOW.

Was nice knowing you two.....

pacatrue said...

Oh mama.

Chris Eldin said...

I was laughing my ass off, then I noticed you have me under moderate threat?
Oh my!!!

You may frighten me (inspire me) back to my stories...

Shona Snowden said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McKoala said...

Watch out Chris, no words this week means another drop. No More Mercy.

Good girls, JC and Sylvia, good girls.

Robin S. said...

Ha! Er, uh, I mean, I'll get with the program, your furriness!!!

I'll start tomorrow. Honest I will...

Robin S. said...

OK, McK. I've started my listy, girl. On the right hand side of my blog.

I promise!

I worked on edits for a chapter opening in my second novel, then sent it to EE, where it was promptly unliked over and over again today.

It was kind of deflating, to be honest.

sylvia said...

Bah Robin, you are picking out the negatives, most people liked it including me!

Checking in!

I wrote lots of words yesterday sitting in the garden with my notebook. I don't have a word count but I was out there long enough to get a horrific sunburn on my shoulders. I'll not do that again :P

I wrote 500 words today and re-outlined the initial three chapters.

I'll do at least 250 tomorrow (my minimum unit :P) and then Sunday off.

There's something odd in my garden and I want to make absolutely bloody sure that there aren't any killer Koala's in the area when I go out to investigate !