Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My, my, looks like April is nearly over already...

*says the Koala smugly, stroking her little list of submissions, plus the planning notes she has been making for a new yarn*

So, in April, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that.. *Score Phoenix!*

Friday, April 23, 2010

*koff koff* *sticks head out of ash cloud for a moment*

To say: Happy Anniversary EE! Four glorious years! Never has time flown so fast or so entertainingly.

I won't even attempt to be funny, because as we all know, you are the only real funny one around here.

Here's to four more years! And more!

*Dear Readers, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, go eat a tube of wasabi as penance, and then go here for the party. And here for the real thing.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Long Distance Slashing

The Koala is now a victim of the Great Cloud of Ash, finding herself stranded up a pine tree in Ancestral Koala McLand, without a flying fox in sight for her return journey. Pine needles are all very fine for a holiday, but she will soon be longing for a nibble of sweet eucalypt.

Guess what this means for you? Yes, she will be even stroppier by the end of the month. Write fast and write well. Snarl.

Friday, April 09, 2010

In which I officially smack down...


Have fun down there with Janey and Mdame... Warning - two months on this status with no improvement and you go to super smackdown and I send round my pet goblin with her toenail pulling device.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

How to humiliate your mother in public

A special technique, as used by Soccer Boy. A grumpy, sore-footed, tired Soccer Boy who had been dragged around the local shops for longer than five minutes.

I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen for years in a crowded bookshop. We had a lovely chat while Soccer Boy grew increasingly twitchy by my side. I thought it was boredom, but, actually he was planning his revenge. He waited until my friend had left, and then asked loudly: 'Where did you meet her, mum? Was it while you were IN JAIL?'

We went home. Which was exactly what he wanted.

ps The Koala has never been, nor does she ever plan to be, in jail.

March scores up!

Still waiting for Chris and Laurel; and the-already-disgraced Janey V and mdames60.

Impressive work from the rest of you. Particular mention to Angie for her blinding 16 points, despite no agent submission - just pure hard graft through writing and editing. The Koala sends you a special Eucalypt Treat.

And, of course, Aniket...three whole points! Whoop de doop! Take a look at his comment in the previous trail and visit his blog for new inspirations.