Thursday, December 30, 2010

December reporting!

Get those numbers in!

So far we have McK on Smackdown (whoops), JJ and Robin both on a break (surprisingly neither of you have had one yet, so I have to let you get away with it...), and Sylvia on 5 - great effort for December!

Behind the scenes I'm totting up the numbers for the year and will post the awards tomorrow.

Next year... who's up for another Koala Challenge? As ever, there will be some revision in the rules. What will they be? Commit, and I'll tell you... Oh hang on, is that not entirely fair? Remember...The Koala is Always Right!

Monday, December 27, 2010

November's up!

And I hereby declare that I will be smacking myself down in December. That always seems to happen after a big edit!

Annual round up and awards coming up! My favourite time of the year! Who's been naughty and who's been nice? AKA, who's slacked off the most and who's stuck faithfully to the keyboard all year? Who wins best excuse this year? And what 'special and yet incredibly appropriate award' will I come up with for everybody else? Oh, it's such fun! And mostly polite.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Furry, I mean, Merry Christmas!

Be sure to have a great time and check in here between Christmas and New Year for the annual round up!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Last reminder...

Get those November stats in! Hurry, hurry! December lies ahead with all the fun of the annual round up!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Naughty November

Look out for our end-of-year awards, coming soon! But in the meantime...were you naughty in November? Or did Nanowrimo save you from the Claws of Doom?

So, in November, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

In 2008 I was a better blogger...

...even when I'd just come out of hospital it was only a day or two between blogs.

"Still not quite firing on all cylinders here. Thinking about doing lots of things. Not actually doing any of them.

Grandma still in hospital with massive headache. Nobody knows how many stitches she has, because the consultant says he lost count half way. Hoping she'll get out later this week.

Mostly I'm reading. I have many intelligent things to say about my reading. Not actually saying any of them.

I'm popping up randomly here and there on the blogosphere, but this is not the time to look out for me. I think Paca's Teddies will lynch me for a woeful performance in the quiz this month.

Well, if I've been up for two hours, it must be time to go back to bed now..."

Sunday, November 14, 2010

If I could turn back time...

...why yes, I can!

Pacatrue, the world's best Professor Alpaca, suggested we look back to 2008. We'll be spending some time over at Evil Editor and putting up some 2008-related posts - I'll put up a list of who's participating later. In the meantime, back in 2008, it turns out that I'd just come out of hospital after a minor operation - and family disasters, rather than writing were on my mind... Anybody remember this? Posted November 14, 2008:

"Here, but owie. Post surgery not quite as awful as I had thought, but a bit tired and sore now and mostly located in bed/on sofa. Got home from hospital yesterday; within a few hours mother-in-law had a fall and is now occupying my vacancy in the hospital. As my nephew put it, 'as soon as one comes out, another one goes in'. She's had many stitches in her head, but apparently no concussion and should get out later today. Her accident happened at the kids school where, bless them, an off duty ambulance officer and nurse (both parents) were on the scene. They worked hard, but they couldn't stop the bleeding that has traumatised half of the infants department; we're still getting calls from parents of freaked-out kids who want to ensure that Soccer Boy's Grandma didn't bleed to death. No, and she is issuing orders from her hospital bed about where her cane should be positioned, who to call and where her car should be parked etc., so we're hoping for a quick recovery.

It never rains but it...you know the one."

Also turning back time...

Pacatrue on http://pacatrue.blogspot.com/2010/11/2008-redo.html
Robin on http://theirishhill.blogspot.com/2010/11/retrospective-its-2008-again.html
Fairyhedgehog on http://fairyhedgehog.blogspot.com/2010/11/remembrance-of-times-past.html
The One True Paca (Prof.) (again) on http://pacatrue.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-ee-dedication.html
Whirl on http://abysswinksback.blogspot.com/2010/11/resurgoriffic.html

I'll add more as I find them. And keep your eyes on EE for some more old timer activity.

October stats

Is it just me or are there fewer and fewer people who I approve of each month?

Maybe Nano will bring some of you back up again!

And...

Merry
PJD
Travis
Cat of Arc
Laurel
Janey

Haven't heard from you! For a while, in some cases...

In other news, this blog, and a few others, will be returning to 2008 this week. So look out for some old, but juicy, posts!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Any more October stats????

Hoping to update tomorrow, any more statistics/confessions?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Awesome October

For you? Will you be trick or treating tonight, or sweating over your keyboard, trying to save yourself from The Razor Sharp Claws of The Koala? Eat your heart out Freddie - The Koala's here...

Or just for me? Six points for editing/rewriting over 32,000 words, plus a point for a short story submission (accepted too!), plus another for a thirty-word story (see below), has The Koala feeling slightly smug this month.

So, in October, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Bonus points!

This month, The Koala is awarding bonus points for thirty-word stories. Yes, a mere thirty words! Only one point is available for this - but only one point saves you from a shredding!

Allow The Koala to commence the proceedings...

When we married, my husband promised me a gold bangle for every year I remained faithful. Forty years later, his brother helped me bury him. Thirty-nine bangles jangled on my arm.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

September results up!

And I see a shocking lack of names under 'Approved'. The year is not yet over, my honeys. My claws are still sharp... yes, yes, I know I've had to smack myself down this month...but that aside. I think you'll see a big, big jump in my numbers for October. Oh yes. It's all action in the eucalypt.

The Koala lays down the claw-gauntlet. The goal is to get as many of us on Approved for October as possible. Who's with me? C'mon chummies, let's write!

Friday, October 08, 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

September Statistics!

Is the steam hissing from the end of your pen? Are there blisters on the ends of your poor little fingers? Are the moths the only things left in your wallet after you've spent all your pennies on query stampage? Then the Koala is proud!

So, in September, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Start scrambling!

The end of the month is nigh! Get those last wise words slapped down on paper; send those last queries wafting out on the breeze of hope... the Koala Countdown is imminent!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

As requested...update from The Eucalypt!

The sun is shining, the weather is warming up...what's that you say? Autumn? Winter? Pah, I spit gumnuts on your seasonal misery! Spring is sprung and the weeds are riz, I know where the birdies iz. Third level of The Eucalypt, fourth branch, right at the end, in their nest.

The little Koalas will shortly start a two-week break from school. They hopped in the pool last weekend, but came out as if on springs, because the water was freezing. Yes, we taped it. Heh heh. Soccer Boy has started summer soccer and will also play Oztag; Princess is happy with gymnastics. She's finally cracked the cartwheel. Mr Koala slaves away daily in his place of slavery, then comes home and grumbles; I slave daily in my place of slavery, then come home and write stuff :-).

The Eucalypt is flourishing, but we are looking forward to a visit from Mr Electrician, who may finally be able to tell us which light connects to which switch and cease the random turning on and off that goes on every night.

This isn't a very exciting update is it? Well, you did ask. I promise you a more thrilling one in the future. In the meantime, I must go and hunt down a hairy haggis, for I have promised to introduce some of the local koalas into the wondrous world of Scotland's finer foods this Saturday...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Get your critical chops around this

This is a song lyric:

"I've got six things on my mind
You're no longer one of them."

Question 1 - without Googling - name that band! And the song. No googling - I just want to know if anyone is as tragic as I am.

Question 2 - critique this little sentence - why do you think it's so effective? (Because it is, you know. Well, it works on me. Stuck in my head for many years effective.)

August stats up!

Travis, PJD, Aerin and Janey - any stats for me? Or it's straight to Smackdown my luvvies.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Whirly winner (and report in below!)

Whirl forgot to let us know that he won Best Use of Prompt at Written's contest! See winners' announcement. Congrats to Whirl, and if you don't read anything else today, at least read his entry. It will cure you of any misery.

Meanwhile, report in, or you will need to read Whirl's entry many, many, many times...

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Start totting up your August points...

You still have a few days to save yourselves! Then come here and let me know if in August you have...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Off you go and vote!

While I ended up missing Written's contest, some of my more diligent (or concerned) victims have earned their point. Pay the contest a little visit here to read or vote!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bonus point competition now open!

Drift by Writtenwyrdd's place to see the prompt. Deadline is 22 August, so get thinking!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Even teddy bears will hate you

That title will mean something to some of you! Just taking a moment to say a fond farewell to the quiz that I've been doing almost every day for the past two? three? years.

A thank you to Paca, who organised the quiz and kept on organising the quiz, despite only winning, um, was it once? in all that time. A thank you to Blogless and Sarah for being so smart and winning so often. And an even bigger thank you to all those who let me win sometimes!

Memories... The literature section, with every ten questions including at least one about Stephen King's The Dark Tower series, which none of us had ever read. The questions that all of us disagreed with (ever heard of a 'shot' of coffee, anyone, because I have!). The dodgy Scottish ones. The dodgy Aussie ones.

Ah, good times.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Bonus points from August!

Sarah's pointed me in the direction of a competition that I should have already known about, serves me right for being such a blogging slacker. Anyway, our worthy Written has just the thing lined up for us - a flash contest, entries due by 28 August.

Flash fiction is a great writing exercise. The intensity of holding together a complete story in just a few words, with theme, character, plot and progress, plus adding in description and hopefully some imagery, not to mention character development, is a novel in miniature.

Take a look at this introductory post - and I'll post an update when full entry details are available -

http://writtenwyrdd.typepad.com/writtenwyrdd/2010/08/a-moment-of-greed-and-a-contest-prep-plea.html#comment-6a00e54ef251c588330133f2f17e1d970b

As per Clarity of Night, one point for submitting - no points for writing and not submitting!

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Results up - and a new bonus?

Chris, mdames60, any word from you two? Chris, can't remember what you've been up to this month, go on and remind me. Mdame, I've already sent the Goblin your way, want another visit?!

OK, I like the bonus point system, particularly as it saved my furry butt last week. No, really, I like it because it pushes us to write and submit something we may not otherwise have written. And it saved my furry butt. Which may need saving again. No, really, it's all about the writing.

Anyway, I haven't stumbled across anything for this month yet. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Report in for July!

Yanno, chaps and chapesses, I'm flipping glad that I allowed one point for entry to Clarity of Night, because this month, I have...one point.

How about the rest of you? In July have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The McKoala Month

The end is coming... I'll be putting up the reporting post in a few days, so I hope you're ready... *checks back through own memory* ooops

Remember, one point for entering Clarity of Night! Don't care whether or not you made the 40s club, just that you made the effort!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Claritisers

I passed the first test and I'm #43 under The Other Name. If you're also through, please let us know here so that my other victims can go and read if they wish.

You qualify for the point whether or not you made the cut. The Koala is proud of anyone who submits, because she knows how hairy scary that can be!

The competition is here.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

June is up!

But I think you all knew your status anyway. A bonus point for this month can be achieved by entering this little competition: http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com/2010/07/uncovered-short-fiction-contest-is.html. You'll find many familiar faces there.

Rules reminder: a novel submission always takes you up on to approves. This is the Year of the Submission! A mere twelve submissions this year will keep you in the Koala's good books. How easy is that?

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Ahoy! Slackers!

Who hasn't reported in? Hurry up or you go straight on smackdown!!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

June reporting!

Success or shame? In June have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

With the Submission of the Great Dissertation (making Paca into Doctor Paca) and the Commencement of the Great Blog (making Phoenix into Evil Editor Birdie), there are no more Special Furry or Bird Rules.

***Bonus! If you took part in Paca's voice challenge, give yourself a point!!!***

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

May scores up!

Thought it might be nice. What with July coming and all.

A disgraceful number of us were on a break. We should be ashamed. Congratulations to all who resisted the lure of Slackeriness.

Way back at the start of the month Merry issued a challenge to herself - that she must submit this month or go to instant smackdown, no matter how many words she's written. Just a reminder for you there, Merry... Oh, yes, and while the urge to write is wriggling up from my little toe, it hasn't quite made it all the way to anywhere useful yet. Still, it's going in the right direction. Hm, might take a lightning-quick novel submission to save me this month *peruses little agent shortlist*.

Actually, though, when I see Robin's catalogue of Stuff From The Koala's Life, I'm suddenly not surprised that last month, and most of this, turned out to be unexpected write-off. And she didn't even mention everything that my furry paws have been juggling. Now I'm wondering how I'm fitting in breathing.

Nonetheless. Normal service will be resumed. Soon.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

yes, yes, I'm a slacker

phew, tg I've got that whole savage beast challenge things to make sure I at least send off a submission before the end of the month. Also feeling slight twinges of creativity in my little toe, so I'm guessing they'll work their way upwards and reach my brain eventually and I'll be writing up a storm. I hope. Maybe even visiting some blogs too *slinks off guiltily*.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Listen to the Koala's Dulcet Tones

Yes, it's voice post time again. We haven't done this for a while, but our Great Robin kicked off a little voice recording project a couple of years ago and Dr Paca has revived it. My little piece is below this message, more will be going up throughout Friday - I'll post some links later. Got the link now - thanks to the lovely Sylvia all the links can be found in one place - right here. I'll be listening to them all tomorrow.

Sit back and relax and listen to... Middle Class Mums (it's very short, I promise - 51 seconds to be exact - not a full story, just an excerpt).

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hellooooo the end of May!

See bold para at the end of this post for an easy point for June! ('easy' is a relative term...)

Only a day or so to go, so in May have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

With the Submission of the Great Dissertation (making Paca into Doctor Paca) and the Commencement of the Great Blog (making Phoenix into Evil Editor Birdie), there are no more Special Furry or Bird Rules.

However...there will be a point for everybody who participates in Paca's Voice Fest. Some of us have done this before and the results vary from passionate and articulate to, um, the rest of us. Click here for more info and follow the Paca Posts for the final decision as to what we will be reading.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Where do you write?

While preparing yourself for the end of month reporting (coming soon!), hie thee to thy writing spot and tell us a little something about it.

Where do you sit? What do the surroundings look like? What can you hear? What can you smell? And what do you need to kick off your best writing?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

April scores finally up!

The Koala is back downunder, nestled in the branches of the eucalypt. Those silver birches are all very fine, but they do poke one in the back so dreadfully. And the leaves - not quite so tasty as those from the beloved eucalypt.

Apologies for the delay, *koffs out some more ash*, but let the shredding begin!

Not a bad month overall, most of you are keeping your little noses to the grindstone. Kudos to Aniket for hanging on to his three points and to Paca for, under Special Furry Rules, submitting his dissertation and heading straight to the top for the first and possibly the only time (dissertation being all done now). By the way, his dissertation was of such fine calibre that we must now refer to him as Dr Paca and genuflect in his presence. Except for me of course. (Did I eve tell you about my doctorate in Eucalypt Studies from the University of Marsupials? Ah, well, that's a story for another time...)

OK, so... who didn't report in? Chris, but I happen to know she's been submitting, so she is safe again (grr)*. Nothing from Catvibe and mdames60, and no second chances this month (in that I gave you one already, so get those Smackdown badges up on your blogs right now, young ladies).

As for Janey, her butt is so shredded there is nothing more for the Koala to sink her claws into, so I've despatched the Goblin with her toenail pliers. You will hear the shrieks, wherever you are.

Enough fun, back to your desks everybody.

*she sent a missive by private bat mail, it's very efficient, but that fruit bat poop doesn't half make a mess of my nice leaves.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

This is not me!

While googling myself, as one does, I found a host of McKoala impostors. Shock! Horror!

This is not me.

This is also not me.

Nor is this (scroll down to second bottom entry). Or this.

And if you are of a strong constitution, check this one out. But it wasn't me. (Either behind or in front of the camera).

It's perturbing actually. I have been McKoala for a very long time and I'm not too enchanted by the prospect of sharing my identity. Some people might mistake the less tasteful utterings of the other McKoala's for mine.

I can't really take my wrath out on them, perfect strangers that they are. However, I do have a handy whipping wench right here. Step forward O'Koala, if you dare...

Monday, May 03, 2010

There will be a slight delay...

...because, The Koala, while on her travels, has left her computer cable in another destination. I will squeeze what life I can out of the battery, but will wait until I'm fully charged to put up the April stats. Look out for them at the start of next week.

Use the time as you wish. Save yourself, if necessary, and post new stats below. But then, remember, you will have a very short May...

Benevolent, me, oh yes.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My, my, looks like April is nearly over already...

*says the Koala smugly, stroking her little list of submissions, plus the planning notes she has been making for a new yarn*

So, in April, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that.. *Score Phoenix!*

Friday, April 23, 2010

*koff koff* *sticks head out of ash cloud for a moment*

To say: Happy Anniversary EE! Four glorious years! Never has time flown so fast or so entertainingly.

I won't even attempt to be funny, because as we all know, you are the only real funny one around here.

Here's to four more years! And more!

*Dear Readers, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, go eat a tube of wasabi as penance, and then go here for the party. And here for the real thing.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Long Distance Slashing

The Koala is now a victim of the Great Cloud of Ash, finding herself stranded up a pine tree in Ancestral Koala McLand, without a flying fox in sight for her return journey. Pine needles are all very fine for a holiday, but she will soon be longing for a nibble of sweet eucalypt.

Guess what this means for you? Yes, she will be even stroppier by the end of the month. Write fast and write well. Snarl.

Friday, April 09, 2010

In which I officially smack down...

Laurel!




Have fun down there with Janey and Mdame... Warning - two months on this status with no improvement and you go to super smackdown and I send round my pet goblin with her toenail pulling device.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

How to humiliate your mother in public

A special technique, as used by Soccer Boy. A grumpy, sore-footed, tired Soccer Boy who had been dragged around the local shops for longer than five minutes.

I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen for years in a crowded bookshop. We had a lovely chat while Soccer Boy grew increasingly twitchy by my side. I thought it was boredom, but, actually he was planning his revenge. He waited until my friend had left, and then asked loudly: 'Where did you meet her, mum? Was it while you were IN JAIL?'

We went home. Which was exactly what he wanted.

ps The Koala has never been, nor does she ever plan to be, in jail.

March scores up!

Still waiting for Chris and Laurel; and the-already-disgraced Janey V and mdames60.

Impressive work from the rest of you. Particular mention to Angie for her blinding 16 points, despite no agent submission - just pure hard graft through writing and editing. The Koala sends you a special Eucalypt Treat.

And, of course, Aniket...three whole points! Whoop de doop! Take a look at his comment in the previous trail and visit his blog for new inspirations.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

In which The Koala recovers...report in!

*staggers over to the claw sharpener...swigs from the Acid Breath bottle...flexes fangs*

So, in March, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that..

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why the koala is quiet

First Soccer Boy was sick. Then Princess was sick. Now The Koala is sick.

This makes her even grumpier. So with the end of the month coming up...I'd get writing and submitting if I were you...

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Behind the scenes of submission

I actually hate the submission process. At the start it's all so bright, shiny and exciting, sending your baby out into the world. Then the knockbacks start...the waiting for partials to be read...the waiting, the waiting, the waiting. I go off the whole process pretty fast.

Then I have to figure out what to do while I'm doing it. Or waiting, because there's not much doing going on after the sending. I'm spending most of my time trying to decide what to do next. Revise my old beloved, 'Maureen', who I think I half-revised and then abandoned for some reason, but, hey, I still love her and I know somebody out there will love it too... (Hey, who wouldn't love a violent novel in Scottish dialect, complete with soccer and family tragedy?) Or should I leap into my next Big One - the village ghosts threatened by the building of a new dam? I mean, who can resist characters with names like 'The Mad Mother', 'The Drowned Girl in the Bath' and 'The Returning Soldier'. Or I could just write some short stories.

Or I could just spend so much time thinking about it that I do absolutely nothing.

Submitting is bad for my mojo. But nobody ever got into print by not submitting, right? Soooo...off we go again.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Not one but three smackdowns...

Janey, Diane J, mdames60. No more Ms Nice Koala. Collect your badges of shame for the month of February.

The Koala is disappointed in you. Apply to her in writing if you would like to know how to escape from the Claws of Doom in the next month or so. There will be a way. But it may be unpleasant...

KOALA SMACKDOWN

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Koala is moderately happy

Look at all those names at or near the top of the list. I am somewhat impressed by your diligence. Keep up the good work! As for the rest of you...you know who you are...

And...
Diane J
Phoenix
Janey
mdames60

You have 24 hours to report in...or it's straight to smackdown for you...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Report in!

Yes, the end of the month is nigh and it's time to start totting up your points for February. In the comments, please let me know what you've been up to. You may tot up your own points (please do, maths is not The Koala's strong point), but I will be checking up randomly, so no porkies!

So, in February, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

Written your query? (one point)

Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves!)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. In your case, job applications also apply. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Back to blogging nonsense

I'm hearing good things about your progress this month. Who will join me at the top? Wait and see...

Now that we're up and running I may sometimes even talk about other things. Like a little parental bragging. Soccer Boy had his swimming carnival today and came third in breaststroke, fourth in backstroke and narrowly missed the freestyle final. Aw, bless. He also tore up the field at the soccer trials, just waiting to hear which team he gets into, fingers crossed for As or Bs. At school, he's in a composite class this year, with only four of his friends and a much larger younger group. Not ideal, however on the plus side he is enjoying the unexpected pleasure of coming top of the class, which is a whole new experience for him. And to be fair, I suppose he is also ahead of the other four. Go Soccer Boy!

Princess is thriving with a class of new, loyal subjects who think that she's super cool because she's already done Year 1. Luckily for her, they're young enough not to realise that repeating a year is, um, not necessarily a good thing. She's happily leading them in The Way of the Princess. Yesterday she was throwing sticks at poor, long-suffering Soccer Boy while he was trying to eat lunch. Greatly assisted by a posse of her little subjects who thought this was so cool they were running around and picking up sticks for her, so she could stand and fire them at Soccer Boy, machine gun style. It's clearly just a matter of time before Princess and her Mummy will be spending some quality time in the Principal's office.

Happy days!

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Only one of you has the right idea...

And that would be Mother (Re)produces for the wonderful suggestion of a 'perma-smack' button for Catvibe: "I'm thinking dangling in a net just over McKoala, so she can give her a whack between leaf munches". What a beautiful vision. I don't need a button. I can just dream about it.

The rest of you, fie upon your foregiveness and general niceness! What nonsense! The challenge is about endurance! Pain! Claws!

By a huge majority, Janey is saved. I'll even give her the five points she didn't report. (But don't try that again Missy!). Catvibe and Diane J are...sssss...ssssss...ssssss...OK...because it's the first month....one point each.

Fail to report in next month, though, and you will be.....SMACKED DOWN!

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Time to vote!

See pleas/excuses/apologies below. Who deserves to be spared? Vote in the comments below! You have until Monday night, US time.

(Apparently The Koala is ahead of the trend, as ever, having last year created her early version of this year's fad...the accountability group...check this out: http://www.calliopecontent.com/the-creative-entrepreneur/2010-01/accountability-groups. Then GET WRITING AND SUBMITTING!)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Smacked down so soon!

Bow your heads in shame, Catvibe, Diane J and Janey.

And we're about to have some fun. Luckily for one of the three above, The Koala has just received a last-minute sign up to the Challenge, who assures me she is already replete with points. I await confirmation, but she has made The Koala happy.

Therefore, to celebrate, I will show mercy on one of the above. And we get to decide who it is. All three must write an apology to The Koala, explaining why they were unable to fulfil their writing obligations in January. We will then vote and decide which one of the three is most deserving of mercy. That person will join the brave-for-at-least-admitting-her-points Iasa on one point. The other two...smackdown. No apology...smackdown. Deadline for apologies: Friday night, US time.

PS - I have ways of reaching Catvibe and Janey V, heh heh, but if anyone knows Diane J, please could you point her this way...thank you!

One, two, three...go!

Monday, February 01, 2010

Major dramas today!

Too tedious to relate, but should have the time to put up the Koala Stats tomorrow.

Anyone who hasn't reported in by the time I change the sidebar...you're on instant smackdown! Did I mention that smackdown comes with penalties? Ooops, just a little slip of memory...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Report in!

I know, I know, it's not quite the end of the month yet, but this will give you a little time to contemplate. Your navel, if necessary, but I'd rather you were totting up your points. Also this allows time for any questions and clarifications.

So, in the comments, please let me know what you've been up to. You may tot up your own points (please do, maths is not The Koala's strong point), but I will be checking up randomly, so no porkies!

So, in January, have you...

Submitted a short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine (one point for each submission)?

Submitted an article (one point per article, no matter how many mags the article is submitted to)?

Written and/or edited at least 4000 words (one point)?

Written more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing)?

Edited more than the basic 4000 words (one additional point for each 5000 words of editing) ?

Outlined/plotted 4000 words or more (one point for each 4000)?

Beta-read read a fellow writer's novel and provided feedback (one point)?

Completed and published a new author website (one point)?

New! Written your query? (one point)

New! Written your synopsis? (one point)

Submitted a novel to an agent or editor? (Straight up to Koala Approves)

(Anyone who's on Koala Approves while waiting for an agent response, remember that you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories in the next month. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage. However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.)

A reminder... Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Special Furry Rules: Paca - adapt to suit Furry Dissertation and article submissions. Over-adapt and I will claw you. And take away points.

Special Bird Rules: If Phoenix ever feels sufficiently inspired to actually start a blog and even manages a few posts, there might be a point in that...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Revving up...

I've added all the participants' names with links to their blogs (apart from the blogless two) - drop by and offer support/teasing/threats, as appropriate.

The Koala is busy with submission prep for her manuscript and Bak to Skool dramas for the little koalas. She greatly fears she may not actually be sending anything out this week. Which means...yes..the shocking may come to pass...The Koala will be unable to approve of herself. And in the very first month too. *rushes back to draft query and starts editing* Nope, still not there. *mumble*.

In fact, I wonder how many points I've got... 4000 words, check. Edited more, check. Entry to Jason's, check. New website, check. Beta read, check. What else can I drum up by the end of the week, I wonder... Might be time to flick out a few short stories back out into the Big Bad World.

Well, nobody promised it was going to be easy...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

That girl, she did alright...

The Koala fur fluffeth up with joy - under her alterative id she won Readers' Choice over at Clarity of Night. She may treat herself to an extra leaf or two from the eucalypt tonight.

Aniket and Chris also won awards - check their stories out too! We have previous winners in our midst as well, in PJD and Janey V, plus a bunch of members of Jason's 40s club. Congratulations to everyone who entered, as well as everyone who won an award, because I have to say the standard was just so high and, while it was hard work, it was a pleasure to read so many varied stories. (My poor eyeballs, though!)

The end of the month is just over a week away... I hope everyone's working hard... I've made a couple more changes to the points system - mostly to reflect the work and preparation in getting ready to submit. (See this post from the wondrous Janet Reid for the perfect preparation checklist).

It's all part of the package...but...keep writing!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

You bloodthirsty lot...

I'm amazed (and pleased) by the great sign up for the Koala Challenge this year. (For more details see the post below - sign up at any time until the end of this month - either in the comment trail below, or in this one, I'll check both).

For mutual support, and any necessary teasing, I'll link to you all in the side bar. Support is encouraged. Teasing is even more encouraged. If you have more than one blog, please let me know which one you would like me to link to (Iasa, for example...you have heaps of blogs!).

It's too late to enter Clarity of Night, but the entries are all up for reading - check it out here. You'll see some familiar names. I'm 180, under my secret identity. The one without claws. Burn this post after reading...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Announcing...The 2010 Koala Challenge!


Welcome to 2010 - The Year of the Submission!


This time we all start on zero and gain points by achieving certain submission and writing targets. Each point will raise you up a notch in The Koala's estimation and take you up a challenge level. The Koala will award you a badge, created by JJ de Benedictis *mwah*, to display on your blog.
Link
One point for every short story, poem or other short fiction submission to a competition or magazine. This is one point per publication, so check out the ones that allow multiples, and race up the Koala Love charts. Your blog does not count as a submission, nor does a friend's. However, blog competitions such as Jason Evans' Clarity of Night do count as a submission. (I can see you smiling from here, PJD).

One point for submitting an article (no matter how many mags the article is submitted to).

One point for achieving The Koala's perfectly reasonable writing/editing target of 4000 words a month.

One point for each 2000 words of original writing (not editing) over and above the basic 4000.

One point for each 5000 words of editing over and above the basic 4000.

One point for beta reading a fellow writer's novel and providing feedback. (Nothing shorter than a novel is eligible for this category).

One point for completing and publishing a new author website (not amendments - this is a one-off point for the first time you put it up).

New! One point for writing a query (one-off point for each novel)

New! One point for writing your synopsis (again, a one-off point for each novel)

Big points: whatever level you are on, a novel submission takes you straight up to Koala Approves. (In Paca's case, a dissertation submission will have the same effect, see special furry rules below). While waiting for a response you must keep writing/editing/submitting short stories. Anyone sitting on their laurels drops down a stage.

However, if an agent asks you to make changes to a novel, you get to stay on Koala Approves for the duration of your editing and negotiations, provided you get those changes to him/her in time and remember your manners. Ask for an extension or moan about your potential agent and you drop down a stage.

Report in at the end of every month. The Koala tots up the points. Points cannot be held over for a following month. The Koala wants consistent effort. The Koala is always right.

Each person is allowed one month off in the year - you decide if you want a summer holiday or a Christmas break or to have a baby or get your appendix out.

January counts, and there are almost three weeks left, so get going! The Koala will put up a post at the end of the month for reporting results and will subsequently award the first badges.

Meet your current fellow contestants...

Robin
Whirl
Sarah
PJD
JJdebenedictis
Sylvia
Phoenix
Paca (special furry rules: his target is to work on and submit his dissertation, slightly different rules may apply)
Writtenwyrdd
Mother (Re)produces
Chris Eldin
Aniket
Laurel
Iasa
Angie
Janey V
mdames60
Merry
Diane. J
Catvibe

Remember to support one another in your attempts to avoid a Koala Shredding.

More sign ups expected shortly! Spread the word, all welcome!

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Bad dreams

I had a dream last night that Janet Reid rejected my manuscript within an hour of receiving it. The email read: 'Form rejection'.

I may be too big a fan of Query Shark...

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Challenge hint

How many of you are near submission with novels? Or at least semi-regularly submitting stories to publications/blogs/etc.?

I'm thinking 2010 - Year of the Submission. Writing too, of course - but the year to get some of it out there.