Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Worldwide Wallow Day

We have an extra day this year: Friday 29th February. I hereby declare it to be Worldwide Wallow Day. Here are the rules:

If at home: send kids to school as early as possible. Proceed to sofa. Lie on sofa. Read and watch tv while drinking tea/coffee and eating cake and chocolate. Around 1pm half of a bottle of wine should be consumed for fortifying purposes. Nap. More tea, cake and chocolate. (NB Because this day itself does not actually exist, neither do the calories). When kids return from school the television and electronic games may be turned on instantly and may remain on for the rest of the evening. Finish fortifying bottle of wine. At some point during the evening, feed kids any poor-quality frozen food you have on the premises. No actual cooking is permitted. Open second fortifying bottle of wine. Resume sofa position. Persuade husband, grandma or pet to wash and tuck up kids. Send husband, grandma or pet out for takeaway and romantic comedy on DVD. More fortifying bottles of wine may be opened if required. On no account move from the sofa until bedtime, other than for hygiene purposes. This is Severe Breakage of Wallow Pact, punishable by disdain of more wallowful friends.

If at work: follow above plan up until 'proceed to sofa'. Proceed to work, purchasing favourite breakfast en route. Turn on computer. Browse your favourite websites and find new favourites. Do no work other than work you enjoy. Leave everything else until Monday. I mean it. Nothing is more urgent than your wallow. Include extended coffee break with cake and chocolates, see calorie note above. Leave early for lunch, which you will take sitting down in a restaurant. Lunch at your desk is Severe Breakage of Wallow Pact. You may take a friend to lunch. Feel free to open more than one fortifying bottle of wine. Return to work. Afternoon to proceed as morning. Leave office early. Upon return home immediately turn on all electronic distraction devices for children, and then follow instructions above starting from: "At some point..."

Computer access is permitted from time to time in order to compare Quality of Wallow notes.

Sign up now!

12 comments:

McKoala said...

Oooh, fabulous idea! Count me in!

Robin S. said...

Love it! I'll be doing the WorK Wallow. I'll make you (and me) proud. It's a promise!

Great idea, my dear - the non-day day of the 29th, a day of wallow. Yesssssss.

blogless_troll said...

Also, no playing internet trivia games during wallowing process.

sylvia said...

What a cool idea! And how observant of you to realise that the calories can't possibly exist.

McKoala said...

Nice try blogless, but I find it relaxing to try and beat you, so it's included under the Wallow Rules.

Wallow on everybody!

blogless_troll said...

Damn.

Robin S. said...

Ha! blogless wanted to win one, but McK marches on!

You guys kill me (said the woman whose scores are never more than mediocre, at best).

Ello said...

WAllow wallowing. You know piggies are very good at wallowing.

McKoala said...

It's already Friday here, so I'm well into my wallow. Have spent most of the morning on the sofa, although there was an Unexpected Downpour on the Washing incident which required my attention. I'm one novel, four mugs of tea, two chocolate biscuits and a packet of chips into my day.

Annoyingly I had forgotten that I am going out tonight. That's probably because I don't want to go, but it's one of those 'turn up or be disinherited' scenarios. In honour of this, I have put off my wine drinking for this evening, planning on doing it all there in the hope of blurring the edges of reality. A lot.

More biscuits and books await me. Sorry, no time to dally.

ChristineEldin said...

One of my biggest internet complaints is that more often than not I'm not allowed real-time access to various sites. So I missed this post, but it is officially Feb 29 right now so all is not lost.
In honor of Wallow Day, I will ignore my children (schools here are closed on Fridays and Saturdays)

Calories won't count! (YAY!!! A stroke of genius!!)

This is great Mckoala!!!
:-)

Pewari Naan said...

My Wallow Day went a bit wrong :(

http://pewari.may.be/2008/02/29/1841/

McKoala said...

That's the spirit, Chris!

Pewari, welcome and I'm sorry your kids sabotaged your efforts. I've been trying to wallow since Tuesday, but was sabotaged by a sick child and a husband working at home, hence the declaration of Worldwide Wallow Day. I lost my evening wallow due to an inconvenient family event, so I think I will shortly declare an amendment to the rules to ensure we all get a Full Wallow.

It's now Saturday here, so while you are all in full Wallow, I'm back to real life. But I have fond memories of the rest of Wallow Day, which involved more chocolates, tea and half another novel. Then it all fell apart come evening with the inescapable Family Event. A bucket of wine did help, but it wasn't the same. New post coming up with new Wallow ruling...