Book Roast Epilogue

And so we came to the end… sort of. What's an ending without a celebration?! There's no sneaking away into the darkness for the Book Roast. The lights are on, the music's high and the party's right over here. Yes, it's a surprise party for Head Chef, Chris Eldin!

Someone grab that luscious Roast Master Chris and let’s PARTY!!!!!

Koala movers and shakers

Up: JJde Goblin and Robin

Down: Blogless ('gone missing' might be more accurate)

Same: Chris (for her intention to write - I need to see actual wordcount by next week, though), Sarah (a week's grace for stress due to Prop 8).

In question...report in in 24 hours or I will drop you down anyway... Sylvia? Aerin? JC?

Now for the fun stuff...the Smacked Down. Whirl, largely healed from his scars, has actually written his 2000 word repentance, and, people, he reported that my wrath was a good incentive to write. See, see, how good I am being to all of you? Hm? Love, that's what I'm about. When Whirl fronts up with the final part of his punishment, the Link that Makes the Koala Laugh, he will be free from his enthralment in the Smacked Down Lounge. Any implication that Whirl may already have done this and The Koala may merely have lost track of the link in the chaos of her blog will result in your Going Direct To Smackdown, because The Koala is Never Wrong. Love, like I said. It's all about the lovin'.

Janey, hon...how's it going for you, babe?

Lazy Daisy

Just swanning around my desktop, checking out a few blogs. Here's a fabulous link from Janet Reid (so you know it's good stuff, right?). Toni McGee Causey - this post is a must read for anyone with children. You'll laugh, you'll cry...oh go on, just read it already.

And, as for the essentials of life, check this out. Link from Jorge Garcia. Oh, allright then from his blog.

Need a little inspiration for dinner?

There are recipes popping up all over the place at the moment. Paca is our most faithful chef, and his latest suggestion looks awsome. Plus, at the moment Ello is talking Asian food and Laughing Wolf posted a Yorkshire Pudding recipe on Susan Wingate's 'Bobby's Diner' thread over at the Book Roast.

Keep cooking!

Post WiP slough? What post-WiP slough?

Thanks to two of my regular clients, who both gave me this Friday as a deadline, my fingers have not stopped tapping on this keyboard. I'm only grateful that it wasn't last week. Editing is easier to get back to than frenzied drafting.

I'll be baaaack....

Driving Induces Vomit

Thank you for your kind thoughts on the previous post, I'm a happy Koala to have finished. Must psyche self up to do those edits, before I forget 'em though, otherwise I know it won't make sense when I pull it out of the drawer!

But let's move away from writing for a while, to the trials of everyday life. Like driving along one of Sydney's major arteries, as I did today. Parramatta Road is a two, sometimes three lane road, not a motorway or highway as such, but one of the main roads that slice up the city, running from the centre out to the suburbs. A highway does run parallel to it, and, man, I wish I had been on that highway today. I hadn't been along Parramatta Road in a while, and I vaguely remembered it being very busy and lined with shopping centres, factories and offices, of varying degrees of tattiness. That was spot on. What I had forgotten was how rough the road surface is. As I drove along it, my poor old car (note: sedan, not 4WD, alas) yawed from side to side, simultaneously plunging down into potholes, or up over dodgy pothole repairs. It was like being on a ride at Disneyland (:-)). Except it went on for much longer. I don't get travel sick, however, after 20 minutes or so of this, not only was I feeling green, but dizzy, and wondering if I needed to pull off and take a break.

There's not much point to this, other than a whinge. I survived. I was outraged. The meeting went well, thanks. I had a nice cup of tea.

And that, my friends, is bathos and your post for today.

She's out!

And I'm finished. 75,000 mostly harrowing words later, and the Woman is finally out of the Wall. Poor thing.

And, of course, in some ways the story turned out not to even be about her at all. Isn't that always the way? Just who she is, how she gets out of the wall and what the story is really about, are secrets that await the loving eyes of my beta readers. (Most of you probably know who you are...if you're in doubt, you'll find out sooner or later...)

So, over the next week or so I'll work on a few edits I know I need to make, then the Woman Finally out of the Wall, will become the Woman Stuffed in the Bottom Drawer For a Few Weeks, so I can re-read in a month or six weeks with something of a fresh eye, before she's allowed out of there and into the world. Of Loving Betas.

I've had a pretty ferocious week of writing this week - check the Koala's stats! I'm going straight back to fully approved and stamped with love come check in time. I'm somewhat drained. Still, I'll dive into the edits in a day or so and then I'll claim a post-WIP break to read something that will make somebody in pink stripy socks jump for joy.

Something sweet-smelling on the barbecue today...

Check out the Book Roast. You'll find somebody I'm very close to hanging round there today... Well, later today, once she arises from her slumbers.

Welcome to Koala Smackdown!

Believe it or not I have showed restraint over the past four or five months. I have attempted to be understanding; I have, in my benevolent Koala-like manner, occasionally offered writers a slightly longer piece of rope with which to hang themselves. Now, at last, the time has come. My claws are unsheathed and sinking into not one, but two, miscreants...

I invite you to view the bloody remains of:

Whirlochre
and
Janey

Not only must these two now display the butt-kicked badge prominently on their blog, they must feature underneath it the following message:

Dear All

Alas, I have not met the Koala's kind, generous and loving challenge of writing a mere 100 words six days a week. You may not see me for some time, because the depth of the clawmarks in my butt make it impossible for me to sit in a computer chair.

I understand that the only way to be free of the humiliating stain of displaying my 'The Koala Kicked My Butt' badge, and to placate the enraged Koala, is to write a minimum of 2000 words in a single week and also to direct the Koala to some highly witty web site or YouTube video where she may laugh off her disappointment in me. That modest target has been set by the Koala while in a relatively good mood. Further infringements will incur further challenges of increasing complexity.

I also understand that a Goblin, disguised as JJdeBenedictis, will shortly appear and pull out all my toenails.

Yours sincerely

Whirlochre/Janey

PS Other, more successful, participants in the Koala's challenge may also feel free to mock me

Koala Threat Level: Extreme

You know who you are. Smackdown approaches. 48 hours to produce some wordage or you will wear the badge of humiliation.

You have been warned.

The Koala is grumpy. She may have to take it out on you.

What a week

Just completely manic. A full day on canteen, plus bits and pieces of other volunteering (I'm such a sucker for help requests), a faraway specialist appointment for Soccer Boy, a new client meeting, a full day at the Athletics Carnival (SB just missed the 200 metre final, came equal fourth in 100 metre final and seventh in 800 metres, he's very smug; Princess, um, last in her one and only race, but still smiling); not to mention all the other things I have now managed to completely forget about. The dog has not been walked for days, the library books are beyond overdue and we have raided the freezer down to the very last meal.

So, today, with a lovely empty day ahead of me to catch up with work, domestic admin, walk the dog, make some more food, do the washing etc, what did I do?

I went to sleep for four hours and then added 500 words to my much neglected WIP.

Beware of your dreams

I read a sign today that said: Beware of your dreams, for they may come true. The dark streak inside me loved that thought. Then I re-read it and, alas, the real message was 'Be aware of your dreams, for they may come true'. Which I should have known as the shop was one of those fluffy-pillowed, candle-scented visions of tat that contains nothing of any use whatsoever.

But...to get back to my first, much better, reading of the sign. My life is full of examples of the danger of dreams. Take Mr Koala, who, while we lived in London, dreamed of returning to his sun-blessed homeland where everybody knocked off work at 5pm to go surfing and all the trains had functional aircon. When we rocked up at the doors of Oz, he discovered that he'd completely forgotten about the fact that, although winter is brief, it's darn cold without heating in the houses, that Aussies now have the longest working hours in the world and that the aircon on most trains had broken down during his twelve-year absence.

It's just another version of 'be careful what you wish for', I suppose - but I like it.

Beware the awesome power of Find and Replace

For some reason, no doubt incredibly important at the time, I decided change the name of a supporting character in WIW/WIP from Chris to Jason. It was less than thirty seconds work with Find and Replace.

And that is how I ended up with another character suddenly renamed 'Jasontine' and the festive season newly dubbed 'Jasontmas'.

The Koala is Not Happy

Look to the right! I'm not pleased with a single one of you! I'm only moderately pleased with Sarah, whose status is dubious in the first place, due to trying to squeeze seven days into the weekend. The rest of you - bad, bad, bad! Get back to the grindstone! That's a computer, you know, not a desk ornament.

Report in, please: Chris, Robin and Sylvia. Grump. Snurfle.

More about Disneyland

One Saturday in February, Mr Koala went out shopping for mundane things, such as medicine and schoolbooks, and came home with a holiday to Disneyland.

I chastised him mightily with my mighty claws, but recognised a done deal when I saw one and settled down to paying very little attention to the details, merely muttering 'mortgage' every now and again when I passed him on the branches of the eucalypt. Soccer Boy inadvertently won additional mothering love with his comment of 'I'd rather go to New Zealand'. Princess was a lost cause from the start. 'Princesses! Princesses! Princesses!'

And so the time came, and we boarded the flying eucalypt and landed in an artificial land of multi-lane freeways and buses with windows you couldn't see out of thanks to the advertising plastered all over the glass. When we arrived in Anaheim my first thought was 'nature - smashed flat'. The artificiality of it all: the motels made to look like ancient castles, the fancy paving, the trees trimmed into unnatural forms. And that's before even going through the gates of Disneyland.

It was a grumpy koala that made her way to the theme park on the first day, mostly sticking her tongue out at Mr Koala's back. But then...but then...wait for it... More artificiality; a fake Main Street with every shop selling a souvenir or sugar overdose. Fake New Orleans, fake Frontierland, fake Tomorrowland - well, OK, that one has to be kind of fake. The artificiality shocked me - even the food was artificial, or made that way - even the bananas coated in chocolate and nuts. The excess, the consumption! Was this really the America our children should see?

'Rides! Rides! Rides!' Well, OK then, baby koalas, I suppose I'll have to go on a ride. I can't even remember what our first ride was. Whatever it was, I loved it. And the next, the next and the next. The whole place was totally dedicated to me having fun. Oh, yes, and the baby koalas too. And, once I got over myself, I did have fun. Heaps of fun. To the point where when I saw people walking around who weren't smiling, I had a little internal surge of anger: 'why aren't you smiling? Everything here is fun! I'm completely won over, why aren't you? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?'

I proudly admit that I am a Born Again Disneyland Fan.

Question: the President's pardoned turkey ends up a Disneyland. In a small enclosure, not sure it's such a great pardon. But...there's only one...what happened to last year's? And the year's before? etc etc. Is the pardon only valid for one year?! Is there no handstamp for reentry to the Happiest Place On Earth for last year's turkey?

Did I mention I was going away?

I did. I'm back. I've returned to tales of deadly plague. Apparently as of today Australian flights are sending any passengers from the US with flu symptoms to some kind of limbo. We flew in yesterday: me with laryngitis, Princess with travel vomiting and Soccer Boy with a massive sneezing fit moments before we landed. I think we narrowly escaped limbo.

Just shattered after a week of Disneyland frenzy. I'm not completely sure that we actually slept. Until the flight back, when all four of us fell completely unconscious within five minutes of sitting down. The flight was rough, I kept waking up from roller coaster dreams to find that the plane was acting like one. I was tired enough just to poke the sick bag at Princess and roll back over to sleep again. "Roll back over" meaning, move my head one inch to the left or right.

Kids tired and grumpy, dog excited and grumpy, Mr Koala working today - and grumpy. Planning on doing some domestic admin and then collapsing with a book for a few hours. Back to reality tomorrow - get back to grips with WiW and seriously consider looking for some new copywriting clients. Grr, recession.

In the meantime, where do I go to find the most detailed, gossip-filled report of The Great Meeting in London?

Unfinished! And Facebook!

Having discovered there was more to the latter section of WiW than I originally thought, plus getting a last-minute piece of work, I am going to have to take a break from it for ten days or so. It's so frustrating! Just hoping I can pick up the threads when I return - and that it makes sense to me again!

And on to Facebook. There are some things about it I love. Scrabble, anyone?! The instant life updates from friends. But the rest - I think I'm getting sucked into a real time-waste. Kind of like as predicted.

What do you think of Facebook? I'm considering giving it up altogether - tell me your thoughts.

Interview

Women on Writing has a nice interview up with The Koala's good friend, Shona Snowden:

Check it out!

Over 60,000 now!

And romping through a great scene which is going to be about twice as long as I thought, but that's not a problem for all kinds of reasons. Let the characters talk all they want! They're saying such fascinating things. Fervently hoping this is not some kind of psychosis.

Slightly worried there are more words required to get to the end of the novel than I am physically capable of typing by my deadline of next Sunday night...

WIP it good!

I've slithered past the 55,000 word mark on The Woman in the Wall, with at least three more chapters to go; a key moment that always proves to me that I am nearing the end of something that will turn out to be of actual book length. The Grand Climax is looming and I know roughly what is going to happen, which gives me the confidence that I will actually get there!

I'm hoping to crash through to the end with a writing marathon over the next ten days or so. I'm not entirely confident, thanks to the school holidays, which started yesterday. So if I'm not blogging much, it's because I'm squeezing writing around child needs. (The eyes are infinitely better, thank you for asking, but I think I'll avoid contact lenses for a while! I'll settle for being a specky without actual pain).

I'd really like to get the first draft of this completed if I can, because we're going on holiday for a week in the second week of the school holidays and that would be a fantastic, and complete, brain break before jumping into the rewrites and edits I will have to do before sliding it under the eyes of the first beta readers.

How are your WIPs going? Do you have any official, or self-imposed deadlines, that you need to meet?

I'll be cruising your blogs shortly to ensure you've been keeping up with the Koala Challenge. My claws are itchy, so be ready...

Updated to add...

My claws are more than itchy. Naughty, naughty writers! Tragic, tragic excuses:

"My dog was sick and ate my manuscript! Errr...except not in that order." *

"06-Apr = Got a bad case of the Mondays.
07-Apr = Apologies to Monday. I seem to have the flu" **

Note how many of you are sliding down the scales of approval... Socks up! Pronto! I want 100 words or more from every one of you today!

*This writer has no dog.

** Monday does not accept your apologies. Monday also has claws.